"Destruction is kewl!!1" ~Average follower of Zamorak
"Fucker owes me a fiver" ~Zaros
Zamorak, known to many as the unholy lord of evil, chaos and annoying 13 year old fan boys, is the flagship vilalin of Prunescape. His goal was to spread as much of this evil as possable, when in reality all he did was create a Fashion line and instead of a badass demonic army, he got an army of annoying teenaged fanboys and egoastic emo/wannabe "bad guys" on Roleplaying forums/World 31
The real storyEdit
Zamorak was orginally a Mahjarrat under the command of Zaros, back then he wasn't even that evil, infact he used to invite everyone for a drink every Thursday night back in RSC. They were good times, Zemouregal bringing in a plasma screen TV for the crew, all those nights spent throwing empty beer cans at Bilrach as he ranted on about someday finding a giant fortress underground. It wasn't to last, as Zamorak managed to piss off one of the generals on his clan chat by leaking info on the Staff of Armadyl to 6 random Saradominist twats, ironically one of them being on his freinds list, which caused them to get their grubby mits on it first. Problem was someone mahjarRATTED out Zaros that day, PK'ing the clod with the staff and RWT'ing it to Zamorak for a used Xbox 360 on Sythe.
And of course this led to Zamorak and Zaros declaring a "DM in 56 wildy rouges"
Zaros: "WTF nub I said no pray"
Zamorak: "smd farcaster u just mad because I got a better staff"
Zaros: "rofl kid, lrn2risk"
*2 Armadyl staff specs later*Zaros: "WTF REPORTED!!!11!2!1!one!!shift!!11"
The "god" WarsEdit
After this, Zamorak was suicide botting his skills upto 120 each, and the Player Mod known as "Saradomin" was shitting himself, as he knew if he reported Zamorak, he would get DDoS'ed back to the Stone Age, so he knew he needed help taking down Zamorak. Having no luck in Tesco searching for other dieties he tryed ASDA, where he stubbled apon a mildly retarded ork reading "Godhood for Dummies" and a lawyer wearing a birdmask, the conversation stated the following
|\/\/| Saradomin: Hey guys
Bandos: zomg mod Add me pl0x!1111111111
Bandos: You have my Sword
Armadyl: And my Bow
Paddy Fisher has entered the channel as #syops
Paddy Fisher: and my HAX!!
Paddy Fisher was kicked from the channel
Bandos: hu u do dat??
(Note to the editor, lay off the Wine of Zamorak when typing, your burping on the article)
Zamorak's influance in the 5th ageEdit
As the years went on, Zamorak done a
tactical retreat tele'd in the middle of a fight with Saradomin and GF'd half his EP, he went into hiding, leaving only Bilrach to guard a fortress with 5 drunken manic demons, K'ril with a pint of rum and 3 retarded playmates, Lucien with the Staff of Armadyl getting ready to BS him, and leaving his annoying emo son Iban with an equally annoying dungeon to piss off anyone trying to get a crystal bow, yea Iban, nice 120 fletching on your wrists bro....
inspiring annoying as hell 13 year old who want to be a "ZOMFG DARK LORD!11121212" or just looking to get those damn goraks and Twilight characters off you at the God Wars Dungeon, you will be glad to know that the chaotic lord packs his own line of clothes. Ranging from cheap Iban cult robes, down to the pimped out high priest robes and ranger armour, all your armour needs are sorted, F2P, not a problem, theres also perfectly useless prune armour with red paint splashed on it HARDCORE 1337 ZAMORAKIAN ARMOUR for you!!! And for you weapon nuts, Zamorak has his own line of spears, and even bows, and lets not forget the zamorak GODSWORD (although good luck trying to get this off a demonic pirate)
Paddy Fisher: Ok I done it, that will be 700k
You have been kicked from the channel
Paddy Fisher: fuuuuuuuuuuu, thats the 3rd time today!!!