Wall Beasts require 35 Slayer to kill and can be found in the Lumbridge Swamp Dungeon. Many noobs have been killed by these creatures because they forgot to wear a metal helmet with a built-in mohawk while on their way to see that funny worm and watch as Guthix cries her a delicious river. A wall beast is basically a mysterious hand which will come out of the wall and try to strangle you.
There have been many theories about the beasts. Some say that the hand belongs to Chuck Norris, others believe that all this time, it was Mod Mark who has been strangling noobs. According to the postbag from the hedge, the wall beast is actually this deformed piece of shit. (So it is Mod Mark...)
Other theories involve Homer Simpson, Daniel Radcliffe, The moderator formerly known as Mod Prince, Vegeta, Sarah Palin, a runefapper's hand seeking revenge, Jean Chretien, Mr. T., Spongebob Squarepants and possibly Santa Claus.
Fighting Wall BeastsEdit
If you don't wear proper head protection(such as a spiny helm or slayer helmet,) the beast's hand will strangle you and over time you will feel yourself becoming slightly smarter. If you try to range them, your ammunition will go through the hole in the wall and the beast's friends will get to keep it. After they die, you can get them to instantly respawn by leaving the dungeon and reentering. As is usually the case with low-level Slayer monsters, click on it while wielding a semi-decent weapon and it will soon die. Come on, this isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!
Nope, sorry, no witty introduction. I'm sure the drops can speak for themselves.
Weapons and Armour
- Mystic hat(PRETTY COLOURS!)
- Level 2 Clue Scroll(Wanna play? Just follow the magic purple dragon. That's it.)
- Crimson charm(how charming...)
- Blue charm(you won't see too much of these...)
- The stuff that often comes out of the average politician's mouth
- Another link to the Bullshit page
- What Jagex's "Back-end upgrades" are meant to stop from happening
- Fathers Against Rude Television
- The Conservative Reform Alliance Party