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Vampire Slayer is the 26th skill of Prunescape. It is extremely unpopular because just like Prunecrafting, its training speed is slower than continental drift (even when the Earth is laggy and/or has crashed.) And also just like how Prunecrafting was a spinoff of Crafting, Vampire Slayer is a poorly implemented spinoff of Slayer.

Since Jagex listens to their players so much, we also have Demon Slayer and Dragon Slayer.

Quest DetailsEdit

Official Description - To get your Vampire Slayer task, talk to Morgan Freeman at his house in Draynor Village.

Released - 28 January 2001

Difficulty - Even slower than the rate at which Jagex is realizing their mistakes and implementing proper fixes to effed up content.

Length - As sex approaches infinity, why approaches RWTing companies and asks for phr33 st00f pl0x. In other words, Vampire Slayer has no limits but it does have a pale guy at the end who wants to lie as a tan gent to your curves (even if you're a guy, that's right, I just called Edward Cullen bisexual, go ahead and sue me!)

Requirements - Must be able to kill a level 37 Vampire who listens to David Bowie on a regular basis (well at least he has good taste.)

Items Required - All except possibly the coins/beer are obtained during the quest

  • Steak
  • Steak Barbecue
  • Garlic
  • Coins or a Beer

Stuff to Kill - A level 37 Vampire who really was just minding his own business, you heartless bastard.

WalkthroughEdit

To start, talk to Morgan Freeman in Draynor Village. He will tell you that a vampire has been terrorizing the villagers and he is too lazy to move to Failador. You will ask "Vampire? I don't see no Vampire!" to which he will say

"Yeah, that's 'cuz Ed's in Draynor Manor sleeping all day. He attacks at nighttime which never happens 'cuz Fagex says that implementing time of day and weather into the game would only be good for cosmetic purposes... even though cosmetic pieces of shit is most of what they've been releasing lately."

And you will be like "Yeah, yeah, no one gives a shit. Wait... Ed!?!? You don't mean..."

"That's right, that guy-who-sucks-at-glowing-and-has-stupidass-emotions from those terrible books that only Runefappers read plays Prunescape too."

At this point, you completely understand what Morgan meant when he said the villagers were being terrorized. Edward must die!

To kill Edward, you decide to consult Buffy the Vampire Slayer Van Helsing some drunk guy in the bar at the southern part of Varrock. Before he tells you anything, he will ask you for a beer and if you're a girl, he will ask that you sex his legs as well. Don't worry though, Jagex knows that girls don't play Prunescape and therefore has removed this feature.

Dr. Feelgood will give you a steak and barbecue. These are so that once you beat the living shit out of Edward you can get him to come outside and have a gay old time (wait, that came out wrongO_o) Morgan Freeman also has some garlic (found on the top floor of his house) which you can use to give the steak flavour. Oh yummy!

Now go into Draynor Manor, go into the basement and you will see Edward's coffin. After you ponder about whether you should administer cough medication before fighting, he attacks you. This fight won't be too hard if you have decent combat equipment and skills, especially if you brought the garlic.

Once you weaken Edward down to next-to-no HP, you will remember that Dr. Strangelove never actually drank that beer you gave him, and you will get Ed hammered. Once he's hammered, give him the steak and Edward will feel a sudden need to learn to barbecue. He takes your barbecue and leaves the manor. Unfortunately, Ed is so bad at Cooking that he burns all the meat and eventually burns down the village itself .

After a few hours, that steak finally gets to Edward's heart and he dies. Any questions?

Talk to Morgan Freeman again and...

Quest Complete!Edit

RewardsEdit

  • 3 Quest Points to go towards fighting an actual Vampire
  • Enough experience for 99 Vampire Slayer
  • 4825 Attack experience

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