Recently the Jagex team have found out that the slaughtering of the friendly animals of RuneScape was at an all-time low. Only 36% of all new players wanted to slaughter an innocent cow, and only 15% of new members wanted their very own unicorn horn! This was horrifying news to Comrade Gower so he demanded Mod Bond to correct the situation and make the sounds "more realistic". Well...Mod Bond did just that...!
On October 18th, Mod Bond's hard work was finally presented and made public to the players of WoWscape. Amazingly, the act of slaughtering innocent animals was once again popular and RuneScape players couldn't get enough of it! How did Bond manage to renew this once abandoned practice?
Bond, after questioning some
kidnapped noobs who were looking for free stuff willing volunteers about why they didn't kill any cows, chickens or bears (his voice, at the time may or may have not been less then subtle..), found out a lot from his hostages guests. They prefered to train on things that were more engaging, gave better rewards and didn't give them sick, dark cravings to actually eat a happy meal (Guthix forbid!). However, Bond was too busy updating the game to the high standards that Jagex wants all their updates to represent , that he did not include any of these suggested features to make animals a more desirable target for potential serial killers RuneScape players to murder enjoy.
Whilst updating a drop table in order to not cause an economic crash is very hard work, work that could be better spent on whatever quasi-real-world-trading plot Jagex had that particular week, taking a voice recorder to an abbatoir is very cheap by comparison. And this is why Mod Bond did. Players all throughout RuneScape had the killin' crazies! Who doesn't want to hear a calf wail in pain while you whip them into a bloody mess, or the shriek a chicken gives when you ram a spear into its skull?
To "have a laugh" with the rest of the
non-masochists players of RuneScape, Mod Bond decided to introduce serious brain trauma into RuneScape! Now with each hit your enemy takes from an enemy godsword or a smack from a whip, their mind will slowly turn to pure goo. You too can enjoy the fun of causing someone to have horrifically debilitating injuries!
You awful, awful person.