Greetings spoilt low levels, bored high levels and those in between!

This week we bring you an update to the Bank Op and Equip Screen Update, which we called BOAESU for no reason whatsoever. This will appeal to all the lazy children who can't be arsed closing their bank, so now you can do things like eat food, drink potions, equip items, etc! We have also added the 'Damage Absorption' stat to the equipment interface, so you can see how much damage you absorb [[Fail|that the level 80 Dungeoneering shields are in fact not working as intended.]] Of course, for those complaining on the forums that we're idiots who will resign a homepage for Runefapper fanservice, but never correcting constant errors in the Knowledge Base, you know, whats meant to be THE MOST RELIABLE SOURCE OF INFORMATION REGARDING RUNESCAPE we'll ignore you, but if a spammer turns up on your thread, we'll send a J-Mod there not to answer your question like they're meant to, but to hide that post and sod off again, just to piss you off. U mad bro?

We'll expect you'll have plenty of suggestions for additions to this update. But we'll ignore them all, as we know best. I'm sure you all read your well-written reasoning for why Chaotic armour would ruin the game, cause RWT, collapse house prices (Hang on, isn't that what the Daily Mail worries about?')

In other news...Edit

Providing you get ruined by the Corporeal Beast, the only 'boss' left in the game with a drop table, you won't get a random event the very second you attempt to move from your respawn point in Soul Wars. For those on the forums who complain RuneScape is suddenly too easy because of this, BabyScape etc, piss off.

Advisor Ghrim now is configured to save an extra 2 seconds of your time. No detail is too small, apart from slashing the Construction exp gaining from making altars/farming patches etc. in Deamonheim...whoops...

The client shouldn't piss around anymore.

The Varrock Apothecary (who?) now does something, we can't remember what though.

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