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Fire-bear

You're doing it wrong

TzTok-Jad, otherwise known as Jad, 702 or OHMYFUCKINGGODIGOTONEHITTEDBYTHISPIECEOFOBSIDIANSHIT is the boss of the TzHaar Fight Caves. Getting to him is a pain in the arse, as you have to fight through 62 waves of...

  • Flaming bats. And they even insult you as well. They also sing MeatLoaf songs.
  • Lava turds that split into smaller lava turds.
  • Big spiky lava things that like right angles.
  • Lizards which took a bit too many roids. (prior to an update, they used to look like hooded chav lizards)
  • Giant bloody skating fire dogs[1]. (famous for their 360 kickflip)

All these pieces of shit waste your time and money, as you need 2 to 3 hours spare and a tonne of Super Restores and Saradomin Brews, which now cost more than a second mortgage[2].


TzTok-Jad is well known for his ability to ROFLURDEAD people, due to the fact he can hit OVER NINE THOUSAND 970 damage with any of his attacks. The only way to survive is to use the correct prayer to his attacks, which are on average 28% more obvious than the villain in an episode of Scooby-Doo. However, you have to remember that there is now a 0.6 second prayer delay, which when combined with PruneScape's shit servers means...you guessed it, you don't put prayer on in time and ROFLURDEAD!

Why bother? Just why?Edit

There is a simple reason for why people waste 3 hours and 400k in supplies an attempt in ruining the 702-Man. Beat him (like you ever would) and you get 16K tokkul (which is REALLY gonna get you something good) and the Fire Cape. The fire cape is the only animated cape in the game because if Jagex did another they'd just give Giygas another opportunity to use GlitchAIDS. It gives 2 more defence than an obsidian cape, a insignificant prayer and accuracy bonus, and a strength bonus which means you can piss your pants over hitting 10 damage higher.

Tips to beat 720-ManEdit

If we knew the answer to that question, do you think we'd sit around writing a f*cking website that only 5 3 A dozen people will ever read[3]?

Its been a while, so let the guy formally known as Prince Agent Fisher provide an unguide to beating the King of the Jungle!

First things first, if you're some lv 80 with a grantie plate, d med and d longsword, you might want to cover yourself in BBQ sauce, Jad loves the taste of grilled noobs.

If you're some 138 Nutter, or a pure after too much Stella, and REALLY think you can beat him, heres how its done.

First of all, stop at the 2 hotdogs, and go watch some badly edited youtube video with Dutch Hardcore rave in it, so you know the differnece between praying and NOT having your ass handed to you by a 970 LOLURDEAD!!! With speakth like thou speak, or thy speakth like Cthulthu, I explainth when once the healers come, heres what to do...

To the circumferunce of the Tz-Kot-JAD and the radiation detected from the healers that appear when the Tkz-Kot-JAD is weary, the best possible hypothian way is to use Pythagarus' Therum. A Squared = B Squared x C Squared.
in other words, Inflict one hits worth of damage onto each healer, While watching the Jadial Beast's attacks, and then run through him. the Healerians will be stuck behind jad.
That is the way of the Low defense intelligance players.
The higher Defense players, can just inflict one amount of damage onto each healer, then Move across abit, to make the Healerians be in a line, no more than 2 attacking you.
Jad will be Healed still, but that is where Pythagarium therum comes into place, where Dragonatic Boltians Beakian Is recomended, for the Big hits to hit through the Healerians Healed Healers Heal Haycth.

Diamondian boltian beakians are not good. One's defensith ungoodthink, thy needs that crossbow belongith to the guy who goes PEW-PEW
Dragonian boltian beakains will work fine, you only need around 20-30. Dependith of thy ability to un-zeroith a fireblast.

The writer of this guide has a firecape, therefore this is a PROFESHUNAL ARTKUL!!1!one!1shift!1!E=mc2!!

"That guide, make absafuckinglutly no sence" ~Some pure after reading

"Wher doez one get this "bb sause?"

"The turd got me" ~Some Level 3

"OMFG HAWTNESS" ~ Typical Runefapper

ReferencesEdit

  1. Not Paris Hilton. Nice try.
  2. In Zimbabwean dollars.
  3. Just for you that don't get sarcasm, no.

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