1. Do not talk about WoW.
  2. Do NOT talk about WoW.
  3. We are WBMs.
  4. WBMs are legion. REPORTED.
  5. Jagex never forgives.
  6. Jagex only cares about your money. Not you. Ever.
  7. Jagex will deliver "soon".
  8. The rules about posting are all in Mod Mark H's mind.
  9. So are the rules about moderation- enjoy your ban.
  10. Runescape Classic does not exist. Runescape Classic never existed.
  11. No matter what your facts are, Jagex is always right.
  12. Try to prove otherwise and they will send sniper mods on you.
  13. And then they will give your account concrete shoes.
  14. If a thread of yours gets moved to Rants, Jagex wants your mummy and daddy to die painfully.
  15. The bigger the problem, the less Jagex will want to fix it.
  16. Unless there's money in it for their friends.
  17. Every win update has fail in it, but not every fail has win.
  18. You can hate an update no matter how good it is.
  19. The more you rant, the more they hide.
  20. No update is to be taken seriously.
  21. OVER 9000% of players only see new content as new for the first 5 minutes.
  22. Copypasta can all be blamed on Forum Games.
  23. Copypasta can all be blamed on Rants.
  24. Every thread copies another.
  25. There are no "true" pures, just noob accounts that bored level 100s made to find out what the fuss was all about.
  26. You can always call a player a noob for any reason.
  27. Every high level is a basement dweller or in solitary for 50 years.
  28. Never hesitate to accuse a fellow player of being a 50-year-old lurker.
  29. All girls are 13 year old boys looking for other girls.
  30. Girls don't play RuneScape.
  31. AGREE WITH ME or GTFO is all you need to know about Recent Updates.
  32. Jagex wants proof that you don't lie.
  33. J mods should lurk less, but they never will.
  34. You are never far away from someone who secretly finds Commander Zilyana hawt.
  35. And there's a good chance that they're looking at Downloads right now.
  36. There is always a worse update than what you just saw.
  37. You cannot divide by Andrew Gower. Or you'll be b&.
  38. There are no limits to how obnoxious you can be if you're a PKer.
  41. "If you don't like it, don't play" is not a legitimate response.
  42. No update is so good you can't wish the mod who made it to go to Hell.
  43. The more odious a player, the more fun it is to watch him get 2 defence.
  44. Any nice comments about an update makes you a Jagex Apologist.
  45. You need sugar to make a cake IRL.
  46. The J-mods have a private viewing chamber for Commander Zilyana.
  47. The servers are always closed.
  48. Dungeoneering is a "skill."
  49. There is no bullshit in Runescape, there is, however, camel dung.
  50. Getting free exp using a macro is wrong.
  51. Because of the above, you should train summoning during a bonus exp weekend.
  52. Pmods and Fmods are "players first."
  53. Moderators are always right, if they are wrong, they were testing you.
  54. Free-to-Play is not a demo, it's its own game.
  55. There will be no F2P Skillcapes. F2P is a game, not a skill.
  56. If F2P was a skill, it'd go up to 120, be pointless and even more of an endless grind than Slayer.
  57. If it ain't broke, please tell us how to break it.
  58. There are no flaws in the combat triangle. Melee, Door-opening and Cabbage are all perfectly balanced.
  59. Lying to players for your own benefit is against the spirit of the game.
  60. The spirit of the game is not a lie.
  61. All players that go to Cambridge will try to find Andrew Gower.
  62. Chuck Norris never belonged here.
  63. "NO U" always deserves "KILL IT WITH FIRE".
  64. If you criticise an update Mod Mark and Mod Fetzki may carry out a dognapping at your house.
  65. Joining Mod Mark's clan chat is the quickest way to become a billionaire.
  66. People who join merch clans will NEVER be smart enough to realise that if you sell before the given dump date = permanent win.
  67. The money cap is a conspiracy to prevent people becoming too rich.
  68. Mod Emilee steals the other coins that "vanish", melts them down into bullion and uses them to buy WMD.
  69. Java is never win. Which explains why it took 6-7 years to make the graphics superior to a third-world version of Empire Earth.
  70. Looking up someone's stats in a forum argument is low politicking if they do it, and justifiable research if you do.
  71. Someone's post count cannot possibly tell you how much common sense they have.
  72. The servers will always accidentally on you at the worst possible moment.
  73. Jagex never improves content.
  74. Unless PKers are involved.
  75. Jagex nerfs any content more popular than Champion's Challenge.
  76. See rule 74.
  77. Jagex's word is final.
  78. See rule 76.
  79. If you have a dumb name, it serves you right for starting playing when you were 7.
  80. There will be spam.
  81. If you don't want another update, just get all your friends to ask for moar of it.
  82. This works for achievement diaries tasks, but curiously not for D&Ds.
  83. Mechscape is a figment of our collective imaginations.
  84. The above does not mean we can come together and hack the server with our minds to make billions.
  85. To do that we need to join mod mark's clan chat.
  86. You'll never know when to let a thread drop.
  87. Compliments does us all a favour by keeping those people away from us normal ones.
  88. Ironically so does Rants.
  89. Rants has moar humour.
  90. Rants has pathetic attempts at humour like this that outnumber genuine funny.
  91. Rants is self-referential. Compliments is self-unaware.
  92. If you ask in Compliments why Jagex needs a forum to tell them how wonderful they are, you will be b&.
  93. Replace "community" with "paying someone £25k a year to babysit the clans and meet people at minigames for a living" and you have it.
  94. Mod Timbo doesn't like being reminded of this.
  95. Community is killing RuneScape.
  96. Just like "Forum Communities" killed forums.
  97. Buying stuff from the Jagex store is inexcusable.
  98. So don't come crying to Rants that you were almost lynched for wearing a 99 hit-splat T-shirt.
  99. All the people who bought those shirts ARE pissed off at Constitution.
  100. It's to stop RWT.

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