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Soul Wars

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Soul Wars is an amusment park run by Uncle Fester as another excuse to trick pures into thinking they have an easy XP factory. In other words, it is an exact clone of Pest Control except it is run by someone who appears to be undead. The second stage will be when it is spectacularly nerfed.

Playing Soul WarsEdit

There are two teams you can join:

  • The Blue team, which half the time is just a clan chat full of crashers waiting for someone to say "tie world in w42!".
  • The Red team, which is full of "destruction is kewl" noobs and that one high level who is probably gonna spend most of the time spam clicking "call familiar" with a smoke devil, and wasting his teams barricades trying to spell out the word "fnurdle" for no apparent reason.

Once the game starts, either by joining the red team, or by some godly miracle, getting into a game with the blue team, you will have to quickly run to the bandage table and spend the rest of the match healing random players for easy zeal. If you are one of those players who actually enjoys soul wars you can always get free exp killing Nomad's "pyrefriends" and Jellies, and winning soul fragments which can be exchanged at the giant floating rock known as "OBBY RUSH!!!1" for exclusive prize tickets for Nomad's main attraction, the avatar. (not to be confused with that hollywood blockbuster staring the alien smurfs and Tallon IV).

The Avatars are basically either a giant deformed monkey man for the Blue team, or General Graardor's ex-wife for the Red team. They are level 525, smash prayer noobs to little pieces, and their HP is higher than the Euro Millions jackpot[1]. It is rumoured than Nomad keeps one locked in his basement as a pet.

The rewards Edit

For all your hard work and effort in soul wars, Nomad will preform a funky voodoo dance and give you some prizes!

  • For a level 120+ who spent all his time crashing tie worlds, he/she can get around 7k exp per zeal
  • For a level -40 pure who spent all his time spamming "@@@@@@@@@@@@@@" and sitting there with banages all day. he/she can get about 30 exp per zeal

Other prizes include:

  • About 6 gold charms for 40 million zeal,
  • A useless slayer pet who needs to be feed a limpwort root every 12 seconds

And:

  • something Nomad calls "the mystery bag" (which is basicly a shameless rip off of the barbarian's gamble option) The mystery bag will normally get you around 4gp of items and a 96% chance of the next game starting without you.


ReferencesEdit

  1. The entire nation of Greece bought a ticket.

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