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Slayer expert

Ok, for the next task I want you to kill my whore of an ex-wife.

(This article is about the Slayer skill on RuneScape. For the band Slayer, you're in the completely wrong fucking place you idiot)

Slayer is one of PruneScape's many skills. It is a highly enjoyable, rewarding and doesn't suffer from the repetitiveness other skills have.

It basically consists of, talk to some tosser, he tells you what to kill, you kill it, get XP, repeat. And that's it.

MastersEdit

Do you like listening to your "funny uncle" tell fishing stories? Do you like your abusive father to give you arbitrary tasks in the vain hope of earning respect? Then head on over to your nearest slayer master! You'll hear tales of adventure that you will never be able to duplicate and get assigned an endless series of meaningless tests to complete. The different masters are as follows:

Turael: Noob? Shit task? Can't be bloody bothered? This is the slayer master for you! When killed in While Guthix Snores, his daughter will give you equally meaningless tasks. Sadly, you can't give her tasks, as I found out when I tried to order her to get me a beer.

Mazchna: Wait, who?

Vannaka: OMFGHAX HE HOLDS A STEEL 2H AND A DRAGON SQ!

Chaeldar: This one has a jelly fetish. I am not making this up.

Sumona: A furry who, whilst looking for the way to the Mahjarrat kitchen, somehow wound up in the desert and found herself too useless to make it back. Now she's a Sand Witch. I made a funny.

Duradel: Stuck with custody of his daughter (Kuradal) without any child support payments, he is left a bitter, hollow shell of the man he once was. Was known to give the slayer challenge of "my whore ex-wife" before he threw himself into death's merciful embrace at the hands of Lucien. <--(Spoiler alert)

Kuradal: A legendary adventurer whose latest quest is the search for the fabled Lost Kitchen of the Dragonkin to make the Sandwich the Prophecy Fortold led her to a cavern under the Barbarian Outpost. Takes out her near-constant case of PMS on the creatures attempting to leave her cave.

Chuck Testa: The master of Slaying and Friend of Chuck Norris He has 999 slayer and has multiple dead stuffed creatures for sale, You Probably thought all the Monsters in Prunescape were real, Nope, their dead, It's just Chuck Testa controlling them like puppets.
Chuck Testa

The Master Slayer, Chuck Testa fooling another innocent player.

Monsters/DropsEdit

Some of the best most boring drops in the game can be obtained from these monsters if you have the skill luck required!


Dark Beasts: Want to kill a giant retarded unicorn-bull, waste prayer potions, and get worse drops than a Man (level 3)? Then Dark Beasts are for you! Don't worry, they drop an extremely useful bow approximately once per OVER 9000 kills. Congrats on your 90 slayer, now go fuck yourself.

Abyssal Demons: Camping is fun, right? So grab your tent and sleeping bag and head over to the slayer tower to join all your friends camping at the abbys! Totally worth it, cause the drop is teh most 3p1c wep EVAR!

Strykewyrms: They drop items which help you to kill only the creatures that some fuckin' guy told you to kill, and you can only access them if that same fuckin' guy tells you that you can. More below.

Aquanites: The abominational result of a frog mating with an anglerfish. If you do Saradomin's will by putting this monstrosity out if its misery, you might be lucky enough to get a tiny ghost on a string, which somehow helps you to shoot things with a bow better.

Dust Devil: Wait...what the fuck is this? Why is it so badly animated? Why is there like a 1/10000 chance of a dragon chainbody drop? What, why, how?

Skeletal Wyvern: Drops the draconic visage, no bones about it.

Gargoyles: Can only be killed with a tiny hammer, but not with your borrowed BGS. Drops a larger hammer than the one required to kill it.

Nechryael: A naked bony "demon" who drops a pair of blue suede shoes.

Kurasks/Turoths: 3-legged little bastards who can only for some reason be harmed with things shaped like a leaf. Conveniently drops the only thing that can kill them.

Jelly: The object of Chaeldar's affections.

Crawling Hands: Most of these came from Saradomin GWD

Killerwatts: Beings of filler who can give you a bloody seizure if you're not careful

Aberrant Spectres: Animated farts with a body odor so bad, you'd wake up inside an unfilled grave if you actually smelled one. Also one of the possible reasons why Fmods are surrounded with a green aura.

Cave Horrors: Stupid ugly apes who drop a stupid ugly mask. Most likely created by a stupid ugly robot

Mutated Zygomites: Magic mushroom people who drop cans of DDT for some reason

Warped Tortoises: Aliens from another planet who kidnapped the princess of the Toadstools

Bloodvelds: Now that's fucking disgusting!

Fever Spider: These belonged to Justin Bieber before they were pirated

Wall Beasts: Jagex needed some filler to occupy the Lumbridge Swamp caves so they went to Wal-Mart and bought some. Then again, they could just be vengeful clones of Mod Mark...

Banshees: OMG! WTF?! Woman get back in the kitchen!!

Harpie Bug Swarms: Can only be killed if you break into the QA office at Jagex HQ and steal a lantern

Rockslugs: Not quite as tasty as Jelly but OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

Cave Slime: If spectres are farts, then cave slime are definitely mucus.

Cave Crawler: The reason why babies shouldn't drink green haterade

Cave Bugs: These allow you to:... FIXED by QA!


So, you've ground your way to mastery of the skill and you want to kill any monster you want whenever you want? Well, fuck you! You can just go groveling back to your friendly neighborhood slayer master and beg for a task so you can either avoid the rampant campers or have the nerve to attack certain monsters!
Strykewyrm copy

A monster that can only be killed when you are given permission to do so.


NOTE: The author of this page has ground his way to 99 slayer, therefore this is PROFESHUNAL ARTYKUL.



Skills
Free-to-play combat skills:Attack-icon Attack Strength-icon Strength Defence-icon Defence Ranged-icon Ranged Prayer-icon Prayer Magic-icon Magic Constitution-icon Constitution

Free-to-play "other" skills:Runecrafting-icon Runecrafting Crafting-icon Crafting Mining-icon Mining Smithing-icon Smithing Fishing-icon Fishing Cooking-icon Cooking Woodcutting-icon Woodcutting Firemaking-icon Firemaking Dungeoneering-icon Dungeoneering Doubling-icon Doubling
Member's skills:Agility-icon Agility Herblore-icon Herblore Hunter-icon Hunter Thieving-icon Thieving Fletching-icon Fletching Slayer-icon Slayer Farming-icon Farming Construction-icon Construction Summoning-icon Summoning

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