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Shield of Arrav

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Shit Shield of Arrav is one of the few piece of sh*t quests where you actually have to make a social interaction to do the quest. Despite the fact that many of the socially awkward people players would rather avoid making contact with other players in any way that doesn't involve swords and armor, the quest is required to start a number of other quests, so these people get over it and spend 3 hours of their life attempting to find a partner for the quest and arguing over who's going to be in which gang.


Starting the quest

Nobody starts the quest because generally nobody's interested in making social contact with others and/or doing quests in general.


The story behind the shield

Okay, so a long time ago some gang called the Phallus Gang had this shield called the Shield of Arrav, cause they had stolen it from the museum. This shield was supposedly used to defend Varrok sometime in the early years of PruneScape where small towns had trouble surviving the smallest of storms and whatnot. You'd think the museums would take better security measures to keep this shield. Anyway, the gang stole it and they had it and that was generally that. But some of the members of the gang got angry at the others and there was some kind of Massive Civil War schism, so they fought over the shield. Somehow they ended up in a tug of war over the shield like babies, and the most predictable thing happened: it broke in half. Of course we all know this was going to happen, because it was used to defend early Varrok against hordes of skeletons or something and withstood that, so it obviously was able to break when a couple people are pulling it apart. The part of the gang that was angry at the other took their half of the shield, ran off like a bunch of ****** ************* and formed a new gang called the Black Leg Gang.

Eventually, Varrok government found out that shield was stolen (along with a whole bunch of other shit thanks to the crappy security) and offered about 500 coins for its safe return or something. This was apparently a lot of money back then, which is surprising because today 100,000,000,000 coins buys you a couple shrimps. Inflation's an amazing thing.


Getting the Shield Halves

So now that you know why the shield is broken in the first place (you can skip reading that part if u want to, it doesn't really tell you anything you need to know), you can attempt to get the two halves of the shield. Here are the steps for doing so:

  1. Go to Varrock square and start yelling "N33D BL4CK L3G/PH4LLU5 G4NG PAR7NER FOR 4RR4V SHI3LD QU3ST PL0X0RZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This should get you a partner for the quest in about 3 months hours minutes.
  2. Argue with your partner about who's going to be in the Black Leg Gang and who's going to be in the Plallus Gang for the quest. This is important because once you join one you will never be able to join the other and will never care again after the quest.
  3. Whoever's in the Phallus gang should get the phallus crossbows, which aren't worth shit and used to be able to be bought for 1gp, even after massive inflation which caused 1gp to be worth dirt. Also, while you're at it, steal the half of the shield there.
  4. The person joining the Black leg gang needs to convince the person in the Phallus gang to go in a PVP world with their Phallus crossbows and shield half, and maybe all their valuables while you're at it, and kill them to gain the Phallus crossbows.
  5. The people in the Black leg gang will want you to give them your Phallus crossbows, because they're more poor than the dirt they live on and can't afford to buy wood. The will let you join their gang and you will be able to steal the other half of the shield.
  6. Give the shield halves to the king of Varrock, who will give you your 500 gp from his throne room which probably has OVER 9000! billions of coins in there so that he can afford his big shiney castle.

Congratulations! Quest complete.

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