Sagittare Bolton

He does this 5 times (a minute)

Sagittare, whose full name is Sagittare Bolton (as shown on the article title dumbass...) is a boss encounted during Dungeoneering. You can tell Sagittare is a ranger because of the name! Its like the star sign Sagittarius! Hehehe, just fancy that

This boss was lured to the depths of Daemonheim by a very suspicious "doctor" named Lexicus Runewright who told him to meet there for his much-anticipated gender re-assignment operation. He had just been discharged from Bilrach's army under the "Don't ask, Don't tell" law (Rammernaut "outed" him) , and was eagerly awaiting the fulfillment of a lifelong dream: to finally become the woman he always knew he was inside.

Needless to say, his money was stolen by the fake doctor, who got his degree online, and Sagittare was forever trapped in the dungeon. S/he has gotten quite pissy over the whole incident, and will often practice being a bitchy tease by yelling BACK OFF! ARROW-RAIN! at the men who try to speak with him/her, before turning them into pincushions with his/her Sagittarian longbow. Thats the thing about obnoxious bastards, they always think something completely belongs to them.

Be warned, hell hath no fury like a wo/man scorned.

Fighting SagittareEdit

First things first, ranged doesn't work. See that little circle with an arrow on it? Yes...Sagittare is yet another of the Prayer Noobs. Furthermore, his/her ranged armour gives him/her good resistance to Magic. Worked it out yet? See that dirty great sword you're holding? Use that! Remember how the combat triangle works? Melee beats Range!

Unless you're wearing a load of dead dinosaur on you, you'll want to use Protect from Magic. That way he/she misses half the time, and you don't get glued to the spot. His/her ranged attacks hurt SO FUCKING MUCH you can't run, similar to how bollocking up an Agility door in a dungeon hurts more than a giant crazy demon going ballistic at you. Sagittare is so stupid though, that once you've cut a sixth of his/her health off, he/she'll yell the trademark BACK OFF! ARROW-RAIN! before teleporting to another part of the boss room. Avoid these arrows dumbass...

The arena is a big dirty great spiral for maximum inconvienience. Bollocks to that, this boss is easy. NEXT!


This article is part of a continuing series on Rule 34. Now wash your hands.

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