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Runefappers
Jagex Apologists

This article has words of a sexual nature in it. It's not our fault people actually do this stuff. Please don't report us. Tell you what, you can help by bringing on the Mary Whitehouse treatment..

Runefappers (also known as Runescapus Fappa) are the disgusting perverted scum that make up the bottom of the hierarchy of Runescape. The only thing more disgusting than a Runefapper is a Jagex Apologist, and that's only because instead of drooling over Commander Zilyana they drool over Mod Poppy.

Runefapper

A RuneFapper

What is this Runefapper you speak of?[]

As any fule kno, most Runescape players are single adolescent males and females. Therefore, it is unsurprising that most experience sexual frustration. Most spend their time looking at undesirable material on the internet to relieve the sheer monotony of Woodcutting. However, some are unable to do this mainly because their parents obsessively monitor their internet use. Therefore, they must look elsewhere.

Fortunately, most Jagex staff are twentysomething males who have never seen a real woman apart from Mod Emilee, and they don't really go for her type. Therefore, they created some "images" for their loyal fan base, under the guise of making trading cards. Yes, it seems all innocent and kiddie.[1].

Desperate runefapper

You heard the lady. There's nothing worse than a desperate runefapper.

Where do Runefappers go so I know how to avoid them?[]

How to tell that there is a Runefapper around.[]

Whatisfap

WTF doesn't even begin to cover it. Told you we weren't joking.

The easiest way is to get 3 random players and get them to go outside the Saradomin GWD boss chamber. Examine their responses, for example

Player 1: Omfg its like almost 600 cb...

Player 2: Omfg this drops sara hilt which is like 65m!

Player 3: Omfg hawtness! What he does next is quite unmentionable.

Here, you can tell Player 3 is the Runefapper. You can also tell he is 12 years of age IRL- He's never seen a woman in his life, etcetera etcetera. Other variations on the Runefapper include the Pengfapper, which are found almost completely in World 60, and in the clan chat 'world60pengs[2]'. As an example, here is another 3 player response, this time to a penguin.

Player 1: Lol a penguin disguised as a rock

Player 2: Lol free prayer exp ftw

Player 3: Omfg hawtness! Now, finding RuneScape people and IRL penguins "hawt" are disturbing enough in their own right, but put together... this is how deviantART started.

And that's about as much as I can say on that.


Actually, it's not. See this guide to learn how you can eradicate this filth from RuneScape.

Runefapper

Words cannot describe...

Runefapper Fanservice[]

Lately, Jagex have announced a makeover of their MMO's homepage because the old one was all rubbish and horrible and tacky and I just didn't like it. However, they also decided to cater to their most ahem...loyal players. The high levels? Nope. The ones with multiple accounts? Nope. The Runefappers of course, who don't need new content every week or so, they were satisfied with Commander Zilyana, but have recently become a bit bored. Killing 2 birds with 1 stone, Jagex not only redesigned the homepage, but added some easily visible fanservice too.

A LOT of RuneFapper fanservice was added with the following updates:

  • Evolution of Combat
  • Solomon's general store - Updated on a regular basis, too.
  • Runescape 3

Click to fap. If you're retarded, that is.

References[]

  1. Or this. Or even this.
  2. LEGAL NOTE: Most people in this clan chat are not RuneFappers and are very nice people who will help you get tonnes of free XP. If you see them, don't accuse them of perverted behaviour, but offer them some cookies.
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