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Pure

Your average pure.

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Pures are a strange breed that think for some reason that having a defence of 1 or lower is something to aspire to. No-one knows why. Most so-called "pures" are created by bored level 90s who want to find out what all the fuss is about.

Intelligent people with more time on their hands call them "pkers who sacrifice defence for extra attack power, or PWSDFEAP for short, but that sounds silly, takes too long the full way, so lets just go with the hegemony and call them pures, eh?

The lack of defence levels makes them incredibly arrogant as they think they are special. Any player who even greets them with a "Good Morning" will have this compliment returned to them with a barrage of "0mfg >.< j00bl3t my m4in is t3h t0tul ha><><00rs O.O". We think it's an insult, but no-one knows what it means.


It's a widely known fact that NFL coaches train their players for more defence.

pures were very happy with the update of the blood pact, which raised their defence too lvl 2. a lot of pures got frustrated on the forum

So what is the use of these?Edit

Despite being as thick as shit with the temper of a broken kettle, these pures are designed for use in Player-Versus-Player areas. The concept is, due to not having any defence taking up combat levels, they are far stronger than someone else.

Example: A level 70 pure may have 80 attack and 85 strength, with 1 defence. However, a level 70 normal player may have 60 attack, 57 strength and 60 defence.

The sad fact is, due to how broken the combat system is, pures win almost EVERY FUCKING FIGHT due to the fact that said 60 defence ain't much good against a Saradomin Sword/Godsword (because most pures RWT)[1] and when said 60 defence person hits at like 180 max with a Dragon Longsword, it really is easy pickings when you think about it. Pure vs Pure fights are well known for being insane, as its very similar to any debate with David Cameron included - offence but no defence.

Variety is the spice of lifeEdit

But not all of these PWSDFEAPs have only 1 defence! Some of them got pissed off with the fact that even a cow stands a good chance of damaging them so they trained defence some.



Actually, nearly all pures get defence for one of the following reasons:


1. Misclicking while using epic dragon claw spec and getting four defence levels in concession.

2. RQing because they got owned, and convincing themselves the solution to this is getting 45 defence.

3. Their account gets hacked by one of their friends whom they let on the account, and the hacker gets the player 8 or so Defence.

These players then attempt to keep going with their account, instead of accepting the failure, and go on to levels such as this.

20 defence: Mithril pures, they usually wear initiate for that awesome prayer bonus. Performed by those who can't afford prayer potions.

Note - Some players get 20 defence so they can purchase corrupt PvP armour to make dragon-longsword-hippies wet themselves.

60 defence: doesn't do crap against stuff, what's 20 gonna do? At this point, you're not even a pure anymore.


45 defence: 'Zerker' pures, basically 45 defence for rune armour and the berserker helmet. Done by those who like to get some defence, but still be good at pwnin n33bz.

70 defence: Barrows pures, kinda pointless since you're at this point a normal balanced player. Or a way to pass yourself of as one of them if you accidentally walk into the Rock Crab area.

75 defence: For that awesome Dragonfire Shield, or that Spirit Shield you've always wanted. 98% of all players who get to this level realize they can't afford the shield, or end up paying their whole bank for it.

78 defence: PvP armour pures. Credit to Phil Space for this one. Usually this is acquired when a Dragonfire Shield pure makes a mistake and gets 76 defence.

99 defence: After a landmark legal ruling, people with 99 defence got the right to call themselves pures.

TanksEdit

Speaking of 99 defence actually being called a pure, there are some pures with the crazy idea that if they only train ranged/mage up to 99 so that they can own noobs but take damage, there's a chance of them dying. So, of course, these people also decided to train their defence up to 99, because when you've only got 2 combat stats up to 99, it only makes you level 50 something, fucking up the combat system even more. The problem with this is that it actually works if the player bothers to do this, and since they actually have a defence level it's fucking hard to hit them.

They can also attack you from behind fences and shit like that, because 100% of the time they're rangers of mages. After all, if you make a melee tank... well that's not actually anything since melee naturally includes defence, and pures who train only strength are highly unnatural. Not to mention that the shit hippy rangers, if they decide to make themselves less of a pure and do both range AND mage, can shit freeze bomb you and then snipe your ass to death. The only real known solution to this is to also be a ice-barraging shit hippy ranger, in which case you're at a standoff against each other.

The point is that tanks are just as much noob as any other pure, if not noobier.

ReferencesEdit

  1. If any pures would like to complain about this stereotyping, I refer you to the reply given to the plaintiff in Arkell v Pressdram, 1971.

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