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Priest In Peril is a quest required to enter that scary scary continent called Morytania (that is, unless you have 65 Agility in which case you could just skip through a fence and... Wait why did Jagex put that there?!)

Quest DetailsEdit

Official Description -

"I have a little Drezel, I made him out of clay,

And when he's dry and ready, with Drezel I shall play,

Oh Drezel Drezel Drezel! I made you out of clay.

Drezel Drezel Drezel! With Drezel I shall play"

-One of the mods from the Fagex Faphics Team

The peril speaks for itself.

Released - June 29, 2004

Length - The peril never ends for the poor priest. Oh you meant for yourself, less than an hour if you know what you're doing.

Members - This quest has plot in it so Yes.

Requirements - None, but the Jagex-influenced, (er I mean, endorsed,) wiki will recommend that you have 25 Magic (or some Varrock Teleport tabs,) and that you have completed Prune Mysteries so that you can mine the essence.

Items Required - 50 un-noted Prune/Poor Essence and a bucket

Stuff to Kill - a level 30 little bastard and Judas Priest .

WalkthroughEdit

To start this quest, talk to King Roald at his castle in Varrock. It seems that he's looking for some idiot adventurer to check on the priest Drezel at the temple of Paterdomus. This temple can be found by going northeast of Varrock, past a limestone mine and a hill containing the camp of that old man who spends his days watching episodes of Bones.

When you get to the temple, if you try opening the front door you will learn that it's locked. Oh no! Whatever will we do??? But wait! Back then Jagex had better doors, not only could you open them but you could also knock on them. Nowadays Jagex has removed the knock option from almost all doors including the ones at Jagex HQ. Fortunately the temple door won't require you to get a big ticket as a drop, or find a glitch in Real Life .

Moving on, knock on the door and some Red and Blue text will answer it. The schizophrenic door will tell you to kill the little bastard in the dungeon north of the temple (marked by a red exclamation mark on the minimap.) This is obviously a trap but your character is so sore about their treatment from King Roald that you will go do this anyway just for the lolz .

A word of caution from the Jagex-worshipping (er, wiki which is conscious that Big Gower is watching them,) wikia: THIS BASTARD IS IMMUNE TO MAGIC SO AS USUAL, ALL MAGES CAN GTFO!

Talk to the door again and now head back to King Roald to tell him what an excellent job you did.

-"Old King Roald! Guess what?"

-"What?"

-"I killed your doggy!"

-"Oh FUCK! You have doomed us all! FIX IT NAO!"

-"Lolz."

Now that that's over and done with, it's time to do the actual quest and find Drezel. Be sure to bring the bucket and some Prune Essence (Prunecrafting pouches and certain summoning familiars make it possible to bring all 50 at once.) You will learn that the temple's front door opened up far too much to you and is now facing adoration. In other words, you can go in now. Lo and Behold! You were deceived! (No shit Sherlock.) The ones who told you to kill the gone little doggy weren't the personalities of an inanimate object, they were Judas Priests!

Go up all the stairs and you will find a room with a coffin in the middle and Drezel in a cage. Talk to Drezel and he will explain the situation:

"Long ago... There was a battle! Yes, a great battle! And uh... There were these 7 cool guys! And they were all cool because they worshipped Jagex Saradomin! So one day, these guys all went to Morytania to fight stuff, because there's BAAAAAAAAAAD stuff over there, and they all died, and Saradomin was like "Haha, what a bunch of noobs!" and he purified the Salve river by filling it with Windex. So because the monsters are too lazy to get 65 Agility (which would require several hours of werewolf skull ball,) they all have to stay over there, away from the G.E. as well as the rest of the world, and starve to death like good little monsties.

They also don't like dogs, especially level 30 ones."

To help out Drezel, you will need the key to his cell and you will need to do something about the vampire in the coffin. Hammer and Steak? No No NO! The advice of drunk people should not always be taken seriously. "But dude! I have 99 Vampire Slayer!"

Unfortunately, due to the fact that the Judas Priests have installed indoor plumbing and have been flushing their toilets on a regular basis, the Salve water is now horribly polluted. Fortunately, however, the Wizard of Oz has taught us that pouring water on evil stuff will make it melt.

Go kill one of the level 30 Judas Priests and he will drop a golden key as well as a ticket to an upcoming concert. Go down into the dungeon where you fought the dog and what?! The dog's still alive?! But you killed it! Sense: This makes none.

Go through the gate and you will see a circle of Iron Maidens, each one holding a different studio album. One of them has Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, another one has the phone Number of the Beast, and one has Keeper of the Seven Keys...

Wait a minute, Keeper of the Seven Keys?! What's that doing here? Switch the golden key with the Keeper of the Seven and fill your bucket with polluted water from the well at the centre.

Just for the lolz, go along the east wall of this room and you can see Drezel. "Omg he's free! I don't have to do this quest anymore!! Yay!" Er, not quite. Go back to the caged Drezel, give him the key and show him the bucket of polluted water. The bucket will sneeze and Drezel will bless it. Pour the blessed polluted water into the coffin and Drezel will now be able to escape.

Meet Drezel in the Iron Maiden room and he will wonder about what to do with the polluted Salve. The solution? Drop magic rocks in it! About 50 should do.

Give Drezel 50 essence (this does not need to be all from one inventory,) and...

Quest Complete!Edit

RewardsEdit

  • 1 Quest Point
  • 1406 Prayer Experience
  • Access to Morytania
  • Wolfbane Dagger
  • Oh and Drezel has to stay in that room for all eternity to ward off evil by putting up a barrier which is more holy than a swiss cheese casserole.

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