Players of RuneScape
Players are you! The Junkies of Runescape, we are trying to find out how Jagex gives out their drugs but we are too busy getting our daily fix.
What Runescape does to our mindsEdit
Most normal natured people turn into raving lunatics and there is an newfound obssesion with pixilated gold and multicolured paper hats, you will go gaga over the birds being louder near a trapdoor that won't open. Some people grow resistant to the doseages and they become mods so that Jagex can study them better.
We <3 Jagex!Edit
They may be average, but some are more average than others.....Edit
World 1 LurkerEdit
I've seen them, you've seen them, we've all seen them, the chemo twats who stand around Lumbirdge Castle or Varrok Palace wearing 10Mill worth of treasure trail crap for the sole purpose of making Free-to-players jelious, they also seem to have this game seriously confused with Gaia Online. They range from 90-110, as being any higher in F2P is a extreme hazard to ones mental well being when the swarm approaches.
The End-Game Eliteists who were lucky enough to have their bots running since 2001, having all stats maxed out, having 2 billion+ total exp and a metric fuckton of gold and items is both a blessing and a curse (mostly a curse, I'd rather just take the shallow private server way) Being added by apporxamly 82% of the Runescape population due to impossable amounts of e-fame, turning their private message settings to "all" is like getting DDoS'ed by the power of love.
The "I'm 12 and gtfo nub!1!" playerEdit
Makes up 25% of the PvP world population, Usually lives on 10 Litre bottles of Cola, Linkin Park CDs, Dry Pot Noodles and a shitty Wi-Fi connection, this along with the exposure to THE EVILS OF VIDEO GAMING!! *lightling strike*....yes thank you Jack Tompson...The player will be so induced with nerdrage that they can only smash their fists on the keyboard to produce some strange glyphs on the screen that seem to resemble insults.
Google translate will NOT work for this. Google translate will NOT work period
The Generic PvP clan leader.Edit
Yep, the "ZOMFG we are awesome, you all suck" type of clan, which has no differnce with any other PvP clan. Usually goes to absurd lengths with the "chessy" clan names. Listen I don't care if you called yourself "The intergalatic federation of holy chaos knights of sparta V4.0 Beta", to me you just a pack of idoit 14 year olds who have no idea what the frig you are doing.
The paranod-as-fuck Pk'er clan leader.Edit
This is the sort of leader who demand that you "pratice" at clan wars 5 times a week, with all your best armour, he will later bring it to 10 times, then 20 times, and will treaten to kick you if you don't show up in full sets of 10-50Mill an hour PvP armour. Quite often a Pure who RWT's.
See also Mr. E-Bay
The "Rare Name"Edit
Most famously known as "lol" "runescape" "zamorak" "barney" "yo" or any Runescape NPC, TV icon, internet, or 2-6 letter word smashed into the Account creation screen after the name change update. They have some sort of racial hatred for any player with a number in his name, even if your name is "007" or "1337" they will STILL hate you for it. Most commonly low levels or pures who think they are a god. Tend to not understand that there is ACTUALLY a differance between a "rare" name and a "good" name.
The confused "Role"-playerEdit
Rare to find, but easy to annoy, the sort of player who would want you to believe they REALLY are a 6'7 powerlifting cowboy ninja from the planet HAX who fights crime in the moonlight, and partys every day while at the same time is only level 80, lost his 500k bank in the red portal, and picks flax for a living. A couple of variants I have found is "A rants forum White Knight who thinks he's the Dark Knight", "A troll who tryed the "E-Gangsta" persona, but talked like his only research was a 50 cent video (that he bought out of Tesco for 50p)" and "Some Player Mod on "lol" cc who SERIOUSLY needs to give the "happy" a rest, its like listening to a japanese school girl locked in a room full of fluffy kittens: Hell and Death"
"hi guise I just got members" Aww poor you, maybe I could cheer you up by luring you into Lumbridge caves, telling you that "if you don't bring a candle with you, magic faries will give you 99999M" then laugh at you when you fall for the "Alt-F4 cheatcode" and make sure no one finds your gravestone. Seems to think he can solo the KBD at level 78 with a granite maul and H.A.M. Robes, is also seen at TzHaar getting his Tz-Tok-Ass-Han-Ded-To-Him by the Mystics. Biggest Lolcows of the game, 42% of a balanced diet for Griefers.
See also The idoit level 80
Remember that funny sled glitch that was fixed 2 years ago that was fixed, well the HAXXman just did it last Thursday, ever heard silly reports of deamonheim items appearing in the party room, that was HAXXman, ever seen a glitchy penguin suit running around World 31 rimmington, only to transform into Giygas and make the yew tress disappear faster than the 2007 Asian invasion, that was HAXXman on steriods. There are 2 types of HAXXmen, the good ones who lurk around at night glitching up random minigames for the lulz, and the other type, who does all that, but posts a million youtube videos of it with a huge neon sign saying ZOMFGBBQ BAN ME JAGAMIX I ARE HAX'ING!!111!! Although its always entertaining to watch a level 7 with a legend's cape run around a "Player Surgery meeting" giving the jagex programmers suicidal thoughts.
See also Griefer
A level 130 with the mind of a level 50 and the wallet of a hobo. Asks some of the most retarded questions you could ever imagine. "Guise how do I get to falador.....YOU STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!!" "Guise where can I train hunter.......you do reilise you're WEARING THE ****ING SKILLCAPE!?!?"
See also Mr. Roboto
Domo aragoto "Mr. Roboto"Edit
Prior to 2007's "Rune-9/11", most of these were Chinese goldfarmers who sat there fapping to Yew trees. Now they are bunch of level 80's who spent their life savings on autoing software from Sythe, and go to sleep at green dragons SERIOUSLY expecting to wake up with 20 Mill earned, instead finding their charater killed to death from smashing his head off a brick wall trying to pick up a Nature Rune on the other side
Loved by many, especially at blast furnace.....He needs to get dinner and will continue this article when hes finished (Oh lawd was that clever?)
The idiot level 80Edit
This one makes up a HUGE part of members,these idiots can be known right away with their kit (Dragon longsword, Dragon med helm,Granite body, Dragon Plateskirt, Obsidian cape and Rune boots, which is a complete eye-sore) and their stupidity of thinking that level 80 is "pro". But in fact they have no idea what a a useless prayer and thinks its strange power right away, which will result in a train of them following some random high level yelling "Wtf Hu u get Power, HAX reported??". Often seen losing their entire bank in the Red Portal.
See also 'The potato'
Not done yet, I'll be back tomarrow ~ Paddy Fisher