F2p arse story bro!

Players of RuneScape

Whining PKers
Stormy Times
Player Moderators
L33t H4xx0r5
Ranked Members
Elite Levels
Nomad Beaters
High Levels
While Guthix Sleeps Beaters
The Average RuneScape Player
Forum Overlords
Forum Moderators
Forum Ranters
Low Levels
Whining PKers
Merch Clan Scum
Jagex Apologists

PKers are a group of players who have an unhealthy addiction to killing other players. In any civilised society they'd be in prison, but in RuneScape JaGEx rewards them with loot.

Rules of PvPEdit

  1. Do not talk about PvP.
  2. Do NOT talk about PvP!
  3. You are @lhpa 1337 0wnz0r, no one else, only you and make sure they know that.
  4. Anyone below your level is a narb.
  5. Anyone at your level is a wana-be.
  6. Anyone above your level has no life.
  7. Always use 'welfare' gear, and flame anyone else who uses welfare gear. This is the only way you will win.
  8. If anyone trys to rush/farcast you, instantly teleport and flame them in PM, this can be anything from the size of their ears to the general weight of their mothers.
  9. If you actualy die in PvP, report them for bug abuse (because they clearly hax'ed that ags spec), and then make 7 threads on rants forum demanding your stuff back or you'll quit
  10. Anyone who 1-item pks is a stupid charb, unless it you, that makes you awesome, no exceptions.
  11. If you see anyone with mage gear, pile their ass.
  12. If you see anyone with a familar, throw master balls at it. (unless you're Duke Nukem, you have balls of steel)
  13. If you hit 4 zeros in a row, your opponeit is a defence nub and teleport.

34. If it Exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions!

How to speak PK'erEdit

Here is a list of useful phrases to use when speaking to a PKer

"LOL SMFD NUB!!" - Why hello there good sir.

"Sad rusher kid!" - I am very jealous of your awesome weapon

"lrn2Risk" - Please take your entire bank so I can kill you and watch you rage-quit

"OMFGASAURUS REX!! SAFER!!!!111" - Hey, how come my uber 60 attack isn't hitting?

"WTF HAX!!" - How did you hit 500 against my super-1337-end game 45 defence armour???

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.