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Kurask

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Kurask in litterbox

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Kurask (also known as Kurap, Kurass ,or simply Crap,) are large, green, bull-like monsters obnoxious pieces of shit that require a Slayer level of 70 to kill.

As usual, while developing monsters, Jagex began to run out of ideas. They knew that some players seemed to like Turoth because of their decent drops so then an idea came to mind:

"Let's make a monster that's just like Turoth but let's make it harder to kill, require a higher Slayer level, and oh yes, let's give it WORSE DROPS!"

And so, the shitty Slayer monster known as Kurask was born.


Fighting KuraskEdit

First you'll have to get these as a slayer task and then, for some mysterious reason, you'll have to not cancel the task(because let's face it, there's no logical reason to kill these things unless you have to.) Kurask can be found in two locations: near the end of the Fremennik Slayer caves and inside the Polivneach well(there are more of them here but you'll need to have completed the Smoking Mils Merch Clan Quest, wait, why would you have 70 Slayer and not have done this quest?!)


Like Turoth, Kurask are Water/Ground pokemon and can only be harmed by Grass-type attacks(Against Kurask, a pooper-scooper might be considered a grass-type attack but sadly they are very hard to find in Prunescape.) This means they can only be harmed by the following:

  • -Grass-type Spear: Against Kurask, this is almost as much of an 3P1C F41l_ as Jagex's response to the Climbing Boots scandal
  • -Broad Arrows: You still Range with a bow at this point? See Grass-type Spear
  • -Magic dart: This, as well as the Ring of Wealth can never truly be explained
  • -Pooper-Scooper: Kills Kurask in one hit, sadly only this guy has one
  • -Cannons: What do you mean these don't work on Kurask?! Guthix ****ing damn it!!!!
  • -Summoning familiar attacks: usually too slow to be much use, use a Bunyip/Mudkip or Unicorn Stallion instead

Unlike Turoth, Kurask can actually damage you on a regular basis so some healing might be required(unless you want to well... die,) therefore healing familiars and the enhanced excalibur's special attack are reccomended.

LanguageEdit

Kurask possess a strange language, of which, the following terms have been translated:

  • Shittask: I'm a terrible Slayer task, why didn't you cancel me?
  • Shalom: Hello, today I ate a player while on a Hebrew server, how are you doing?
  • ShamWow: Greetings, I am one of Runescape's many monsters and I would like to sell you something
  • Krap: What I am about to drop
  • Kamehameha: Behold my massive power... Turtle Shockwave!!!!!!
  • Kurimbingbuts: I advise you to purchase some climbing boots, for Jagex will soon nerf them
  • Kanada: Some sort of place


Its bad enough them dying, but do they have to throw litter all around the place?Edit

Kurask are an onomatopoeia, meaning that they often drop just what they sound like, Crap. The following may be worth picking up: Weapons and Armour

  • LEAF BLADE
  • Dragon Spear (This drop exists everywhere and nowhere at the same time(Schrodinger!!!))
  • Rune longsword(it's a blue popsicle!)
  • Rune spear (Stalker)
  • Adamant Platebody
  • White Mystic Robe top (ZOMG! PRETTY COLOURS!!!)

Lots of weed to smoke. Seedy business

  • Snapdragon seed
  • Dwarf weed seed
  • Lantadyme seed
  • Torstol seed (ZOMG OVERLOADS MAKE THESE LIKE 200K!)
  • Avantoe seed
  • Kwuarm seed(phr33 st00f pl0x?)

Food. Actually, fuck that, you've played this shit game for 3 hours. Make yourself something to eat. IN REAL LIFE DUMBASS! And Shit nobody cares about.

  • Bones. Just bones. Nothing else. No red link jokes. Just bones.
  • Gems, which switch between worthless and zero-supply more than The Sun changes between murderous fury and arse-licking.
  • Single dose potions. They can fuck off.
  • Half of a key(How did this get here?!)
  • Level 3 Clue Scroll (Which creates a RuneScape-type wild goose chase which ends with fuck all.)
  • Kurask Head ("Look evry1! I have crap on my wall!")
  • Shield left half (And you thought Peter Andre and Katie Price's split was sarcastrophic.)
  • Starved Ancient Effigy (OM NOM NOM NOM)

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