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Apolgoist

This is how most Apologists react to seeing a jagex Mod in-game

Players of RuneScape

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PKers
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L33t H4xx0r5
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While Guthix Sleeps Beaters
The Average RuneScape Player
Forum Overlords
Forum Moderators
Forum Ranters
Rioters
Low Levels
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Merch Clan Scum
Runefappers
Jagex Apologists

Jagex Apologists are the most irritating players in all RuneScape, being simulataneous immature cretins and utter know-it-alls. They are MUCH worse than Runefappers, as at least Runefappers keep their dirty habits to themselves. Even if there hasn't been an update in a few weeks they are there to tell everyone "Jagex doesn't have to update because they are perfect. <3" [1]



How is it any different from a WBM, you noob?Edit

Believe me, a Jagex Apologist is MUCH worse than a WBM. No matter how badly Jagex messes up, they will accuse any players who dare dissent of being selfish. This may include:


"Trivial little glitches" such as being able to make 12 Dragonstone Bolts for every one fletched, being able to make millions from an obscure glitch with a Terrorbird, and Jagex getting all of their spreadsheets wrong.
"Tiny slips in schedule" like the delay and scrapping of Mechscape, the "entirely understandable" no-update weeks througout 2009, and "little flaws" like the release of Mobilising Armies. Quite right. Why must players be so selfish?
"Entirely understandable decisions" like removing the "hated pressure" of Behind The Scenes so Jagex could work on "excellent content which you're all so bloody ungrateful for and you should stop complaining, quit and go die".


Be warned, though. Some of these may just be doing it for teh lulz.

I still don't get it...Edit

I can understand, as often many WBMs use the exact phrases here. However, check out this article. There are a quite a few WBMs who genuinely love JaGEx and despise the stupid, irrelevant players that for some reason are allowed to gaze upon the beloved RuneScape. However, many are unprincipled bastards who are only interested in the shiny crown that modship provides. They do not feel any obligations towards Jagex to make RuneScape better- they just parrot the rule book and report people for minor infractions of the rules, such as standing in one place for too long for one time.

This is the opposite of a JaGEx Apologist.

To say that JaGEx apologists love Jagex is an understatement. They stalk them on the forums and in-game whenever they can to tell them how fabulous they are. They find JaGEx HQ's address and send them love letters every day. They make proposals of marriage to the JaGEx Moderators. If they find someone who even remotely looks like one of the Gower brothers, they will stalk them for periods of up to 5 years. Basically, these people are completely infatuated with anything that may be slightly related to JaGEx.

And with infatuation comes obsession.

When a Jagex Apologist sees any attack on JaGEx, they see it as a personal slight. For them, JaGEx and themselves are one and the same. This is why many of them talk as if they have a gold crown. They're convinced they're Mod Poppy. Therefore, the slightest criticism of JaGEx Limited will result in a barrage of abuse including the following phrases:

  • "You should be grateful Jagex updates at all"
  • "If you don't like it, quit"
  • "No other game updates so often"
  • "LEAVE JAGEX ALONE!"[2]
  • "We have lots of fantastic updates coming up"
  • "Be patient"
  • "Yeah well look at all the people happily playing the game, they have no problem with this!"
  • "Jagex works so hard so they can have as many no-update weeks as they want"
  • "Join Mod Lorenzo's fan club if you love Mod Lorenzo like we do!"
  • "Can I marry you Mod Emilee?"
Jagex apologist

Yup, it's all there.

Are these bloody people any use?Edit

Actually, yes. The Forums require huge amounts of electricity to be able to store and retrieve all the threads about how wonderful the Mods are and how crap the updates are. It is a well-known fact that serial ranters and Jagex Apologists are incompatible- like antimatter and matter. A "pair" of one ranter and one Apologist can produce enough flame, friction and bile to power the entire Forums for one day.

Jagex Apologist's LawEdit

Known as the "Apologist's Law" for short. This is the irrefutable fact that, the longer a Jagex critic and a Jagex Apologist argue, the chance that the Jagex Apologist will say "If you don't like it, quit" approaches 1. When this happens, the Jagex Apologist automatically loses the argument. From this we can deduce that as an argument between a Jagex critic and a Jagex apologist gets longer, it is inevitable that the Jagex Apologist will lose. Yet when you helpfully remind them of this to save time, they take the huff. Ungrateful bastards.


What they do..Edit

Either they defend jagex by saying stuff that aren't releated to the subject(for example a low level you are ashamed of) or they begin flaming..or ZE ULTIMATE DEFEND!!they say that this is spam/you are ungrateful/reported for spamming/act like a mod(example:This not belong to future update this belong to suggestion,I'll get get a forum mod to lock this...please dont spam again

Dark :D)(in yo face dark!)

So,how do i stop them?

  1. Get the OHMYFUCKINGGODIGOTONEHITTEDBYTHISPIECEOFOBSIDIANSHIT to kill them
  1. Post on forums saying fk you apologists!! and go bomb jagex
  1. Consider the forums a Frost dragon cave with lots of noobs in it who botted Dungeoneering who are using the penguin glitch to kill them.
  1. Profit!!!



The creator of the what they do part has been trolled enough by jagex apologists so this is considered a PROFESHUNAL ARTYKUL.

TriviaEdit

  • The term Jagex Apologist was created by a user of this site.
  • Mod Mark H hates the word.

ReferencesEdit

  1. Thanks Kimzi Caky.
  2. Thanks Chris Crocker.

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