This article has words of a sexual nature in it. It's not our fault people actually do this stuff. Please don't report us. Tell you what, you can help by bringing on the Mary Whitehouse treatment..

First you'd best check what a runefapper is. So once you've done that, come back here. Good boy.

Runefappers. Truly the filth at the bottom of the RuneScape pile. Day in, day out, they tell each other how "sxc" and "hawt" they are. It's actually depressing to think these people even exist. So why not do a bit of public service, and help these people quit their perversions? By that, of course, we mean screw them over so badly that they'll never log on again. Call it tough love.

Finding Your RunefapperEdit

  • Look around for people using the word hawt, they're usually Runefappers.
  • Other RuneFappers ask for a gf, so that's a sign as well.
  • Go to Commander Zilyana's chambers at GWD and see if you can find any players just standing there. *WARNING*- These might be legitimate players who are waiting for their chance to get a Saradomin GodSword. To find out whether they are Runefappers or not, just ask them what they think Commander Zilyana's bra size is.

What to do if you find a Runefapper?Edit

Basic MethodsEdit

  • If you're in a PvP world or PvP minigame activity: kill them
  • If the Runefapper has a low combat level: lure him to Commander Zilyana, he won't survive the Trolls on the way...
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    One of the many Ways to Stop Runeflappers

  • If otherwise: teleport away
  • If you can't teleport: Kill yourself.

These are short-term solutions that merely distract the Runefapper. To stop the addiction completely, you need a more daring tactic.

Advanced Runefapper DeterrenceEdit

1) Befriend the Runefapper. Most Runefappers have no friends so this should be fairly easy.
2) Groom the Runefapper into telling you where he lives and who he is. Again, most Runefappers are sad, vulnerable teenagers so this will be a piece of piss.
3) Get the address of the poor sap. Look, here's Google Maps. Aren't we nice?
4) Hide outside said Runefapper's house with a camera with fantastic zoom. Or use some other techno bullshit. Whatever. NOMFuP.
5) When he (it's nearly always a he) turns his PC on and ... does his business, take a photo. Take several in fact. Make sure it's clear what is going on.
6) Go into the Runefapper's school and stick the pictures on the noticeboard. Or, for our American viewers, leave it in an envelope by the jock's locker at high school.
7) Watch the fun.

Warning- This method only works because the Runefapper ends up committing suicide. If you want to wean them off the habit without killing them, use blackmail instead.

Help For RunefappersEdit

The best way to stop an addiction is to catch it early. So first, how to tell if you're a Runefapper.

  1. You regularly visit the Player's Gallery and not just when a new one has been released.

This article is part of a continuing series on Rule 34. Now wash your hands.

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