Evening, citizen--oh, shit, there goes another one. That makes 412,542,976 just this last week. Can you believe that?

Guards serve as the human nations of Gilenor's main police force, military, thugs for hire, and all purpose punch bags. With a life span of well over twelve seconds, guards are the lifeblood of RuneScape society- maintaining order in the streets thanks to their sheer physical strength, and being higher in combat level than perhaps half the players wandering around Lumbridge on F2P. Guards have been known to survive almost until lunch break on their first day of employment.

In order to compensate for their admittedly slightly poor working conditions, governments around RuneScape are forced to pay guards inordinate sums of money. However, since all their possessions are immediately turned over to the state upon death and only four guards in the whole history of Gielenor have ever collected their week's wages, most councils actually profit from the system. As this situation is highly convinient, helping to curb overpopulation and providing whole minutes of exciting, fulfilling work to aspiring young citizens, no ruler has ever seriously considered rectifying it.

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