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Gravite 2h Sword

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SPOILER ALERT: LIKE OMG BEST F2P WEAPON EVAR!!!1111!!!

Mario Hammer

Mario believes that his 40k tokens were well spent

The Gravite 2h Sword, also known as the Rather-Gravite-And-Actually-2h-But-Sword-In-Name-And-Appearence-Only is a f2p weapon that can only be obtained after fucking around doing Dungeoneering. It requires 45 Attack and wants 40k of your tokens (which is fine almost because f2pers haven't got fuck all else of any use to spend them on. Seriously.) It rapidly became known as the OMG UBER F2P WEP and now everyone wants one. Previously, the f2p Pkers were stuck with the Corrupt Dragon Battleaxe, which provided less value for money than Gunnar's Ground. Comparing the Dragon Battleaxe and the Gravite 2h is like comparing a British and Polish worker - one will go on strike every 30 minutes and leave, but the other will work for 10 hours before getting mildly annoyed. (Just making sure we're added onto the Daily Mail's Top 10 Million Hated Things, thats all)

Gravite 2h Sword StatsEdit

Strength Bonus: +90

Crush Bonus: +87

Slash Bonus...erm...-4...

Now THAT is an achievement. Genuinely making a SWORD that can't cut stuff. Only Jagex would be able to do that, no one else. Instead it seems like they've programmed a maul into the game but somehow managed to make everything about it a sword instead. Its a bigger fail than Final Fantasy 14. Its a bigger fail than The No Cussing Club. Its a bigger fail than the Coalition Government, and thats saying something. On the very first day people wanted to know why it was messed up like this. Jagex didn't answer. A week later, nothing still, a month later, still nothing. And now? Nothing.

Could the Gravite 2h be THE anti-Pures weapon?Edit

As you know, Pures are very fickle things, and no matter how rich or powerful their account is, as soon as they accidentally get 2 Defence, the account is 'ruined' and they are forced to start over. Because of the attack style layout of the Gravite 2h, most pures have to play an annoying game of "change the combat style in time" as many use a shortbow for quick damage, and then try for the KO with the 2h. However, they have literally half a second to switch from the useless slash attack styles to the crush attacks, otherwise they end up failing, which is nothing new for them. However, if in the rush to switch back weapons they forget to change the attack style back to Rapid, then they'll end up getting Defence exp, leveling up and DESTROYING their hard-earned Pking account. This happens surprisingly often, and therefore it is not a Gravite 2h Sword, but a Griefite 2h Unsword.
Purefail

This lucky fellow is the 2000th person to get owned by the Gravite 2h stance errors

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