Need someone for the saradomin and zamarok rooms,i never visted them Brego1176 16:56, December 30, 2010 (UTC)

An artists interpation of how the generals REALLY arrived

The beginingEdit

So what the heck is this god wars dungeon thingy?

Its a place for no lifes,low level arseholes coming in for no reason,RWTing pures(Wait,wasnt wildy and free trade removed?) to beat the crap out of some stupid weak monsters for some underpowered expensive junk.

The middleEdit

Sometime later,Jagex was searching through their heads for some original ideas like registeel,they found the idea changed it into a style completly orignal to jagex.

The changesEdit

They wiped out everything,and started putting jagex crap,starting with placing monsters of diffrent god factions but same combat level,meaning that they all fight each other in a FAILED way,and if you Happen not to be wearing one(or all) of the gods items every single monster will be looking forward to wiping out your arse and handling it to you and then,surpirse,surprise,LOLURDEAD.

That was about 2 years ago,but we all know what happens with jagex.

The roomsEdit

There are 5 rooms(yes the meat freezer counts as one) in the dungeon.Each one representing one of the 4 gods noone cares about except some idiots speculating about a storyline worse than tehnoobshow's gods exposed videos.

Bandos roomEdit

This room is the main attraction of the dungeon,mainly for the fact its the most easiest boss.The boss is a stupid OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG drops a weapon that is the Eminem of pure weapons.Thats the bandos godsword.It also drops some junk that increases strength bonus by 6 for a total of a 36-40million.What most people dont know is,that the bandos boots are actually cheap boots which had a stupid rework on stats and a paint.however 2 years later the cheap boots rose in price by over 9000%.

Armadyl roomEdit

This room contains the most amount of rangers in runescape,as it has some flying arses that give quite a profit.Its boss is a Bird with knackered empty deodorant cans for an armor.This armor is a grammy for rangers,as it is considered the best armor for rangers.The boss also drops an extremely expensive hilt for no reason what so ever,as its special attack is a hit with 25% damage added.

Saradomin roomEdit

Full of fucking Runefappers going on about how much they want to marry Commander Zilyana . For a more detailed decription, see Rule 34

Zamorak roomEdit

To come soon.

227px-Nex hint 2

Beware of him..

The frozen door

Some lame idiotic door put there sitting just to make these guys freak out,and make pointless specualtions about whats behind it.

Some time later,jagex released an orb of olculus,which resulted in a player finding an underwater terrain behind the frozen door.This lead to tons of pointless discussions till a jagex mod said it was a scrapped peice of unwanted crap for the path to the zamorak room.

On 20/12/2010,a hidden update was released giving the frozen door a badly made "earthquake" effect(Im serious with the badly made part,no animation,no text,not even a good shake effect) and an open option that when used,some retarded half arsed voice is heard saying lame warnings such as:

  • Mortals, only death awaits you here
  • Release me and know despair
  • Face me and know despair
  • All those who oppose us will perish
  • Give me the power of shadow
  • My revenge will be great
  • Face me and you will suffer
  • You can not imprison me forever

This was the reason the specualtion was reborn,this time it was about some rumors of a leak of Torvas armor(some armor said to boost life points),or a TERRIBLE MONSTER NOONE CAN KILL!(Although they probobly forgot the fact that a VIKING would be sacred from a stupid crab with a santa hat on it,im guessing the monster would be 10 times badly thought and 100 times badly made).

Then a  oh look at our crappy updates for the month article was released about the frozen door expansion,According to it,The frozen door would include:

A fully voice-supported battle and some of the richest graphics in the game, it’s shaping up to be one of the best and most exciting areas of RuneScape.

A stupid boss by the name of Nex which according to jagex:

Defeating RuneScape’s most powerful and intelligent boss to date won’t be easy, with its arsenal of over 15 unique combat moves, each designed to test even the most powerful of players. You’re going to need help from your clan or some friends to take it down.

Oooh!A new boss!Of course,your arse isnt interested in the challenge of the boss,its in the drops,which seems to be the most OVERPOWRED drops of all time.


Life boosting Melee,range and mage armors.

Some robes for looks to show respect to the "Big Z".

And what made the drops overpowered.

An ammo free bow(Thats one),Fast and accurate as choatic crossbow(Thats two) and last,and definetly first,Strong as dragonstone tipped bolts(Thats 117+ ranged strength.).

You heard me,Strong,sorta fast,and most of all,free AMMO.

Odds are,the bow will skyrocket so fast that a super massive black-hole will look like a three toed sloth trying to pretend slow motion walk while in slow motion.

Anyways,to cool down the HUGE hype around what the boss looked like,jagex released a facebook hint.

Remeber the rich graphics and particle effects they promised?The dungeon turned out to be a huge room with pointless holes with the stupid icon of zaros, and an exact copypasta theme of the frozen floors of dungeoneering.As for the boss's particle effects,they were some green gases coming out his/her/its rear.

The boss it self however,was a purple FAIL impression of an Archaeopteryx(look it up) tenth a size of a bronze statue with some horns and a leather skin for its back.


The Dungeon was recently updated by Fagex to piss you off when a goblin kills you because you get lagged back to the fucking future. God wars dungeon are one of the areas infected by jagex's idiotic sense of humour.Dont Belive it?Just look to the picture

God War Dungeon Noob

Example of how unfunny jagex is

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