Magic

Am I Doing it right?

Magic is the easily the worst best combat skill in RuneScape. For the low, low price of 10k per spell, 99 magic, and some bargain robes at only 10M each, you can hit up to an incredible 370! This compares extremely well against those rubbish meleers and rangers, who must simply be content with hitting OVER 9000 600s and 700s on a bad day, and if you are feel unlucky they might hit 1150 on you! Nothing compared to 370 damage you can do ...Right?

Magic is awesome!

The spell Ice Barrage allows you to absolutely annihilate your opponents. You have an incredible 0.01% chance of freezing your opponent, and they can't move for up to TWO WHOLE SECONDS! Aren't you lucky!

You also get incredibly useful teleport spells which you'll be using every day! You can go to all sorts of brilliant areas like outside the Fishing Guild, Mobilising Armies, and some worthless awesome Wilderness ruins!

Magic has variety!

There are three AMAZING spellbooks! One of them allows you to attack your enemies weak points for MASSIVE DAMAGE, one has INCREDIBLE convienience for everything you normally do, and the last one, the Ancient Magicks spellbook, allows you to mash opponents for almost no money at all!

These EPIC spellbooks are as follows:

Ancient Magicks

The so-called "Pker magic", the only spell actualy used on this would be "Ice Blitz" and "Ice Barrage" which involves seeing some clod in the middle of BH having a death-match and winning, waiting until the fight is over, and then hitting 0 due to splash damage and getting your spine cut in half with an Armadyl Godsword with the last words you will hear being "L0L I M3RKED YU NUB!1"

Other spells in the Ancient Magicks include

• Smoke - its suppost to poison players, anyone with half a brain-cell floating in their cranium would use a Dragon Dagger. But this is PruneScape.
• Shadow - Apparently "blinds" players from seeing how crap it really is.
• Blood - "I vant to drink your blood! I'm a vampire!" *dark bow special attack later* '"OMFG NOOB REPORTED!"
• Miasmic - Requires using a 700k staff that will snap like a twig on you after an hour, how very useful...
• Teleports - Locations include: Pk'er land entrance, a set from a 40's horror movie, the digsite and about 70 deep wildy teleports, ALL with confusing Zarostarded names, so if you are going to withdraw your 34m gp to buy those claws you always wanted, try not to end up being the Chaos Elemetal's mind-lunch.

2. Lunar Magic

Unlocking these spells requires asking a bunch of pirates to leave you in a magical island, take this "pink stuff" and go on a mystical journey into your own mind. (this totally doesn't sound anything like getting stoned near the coast of Scotland, and waking up on an island full of barrels with the "glow in the dark" in them)

Spells include,

• PIE! NO REALLY, PIE!

• Being a right nosy git and examining things that don't want to be examined

• Making it rain

• Teleport spells that spam everyone within 50 feet if they would like to go to deep wildy (extra points if you do this in world 2)
• Using the power of the Lunar Mages to summon a RS vuvuzela!

• Falling asleep (also known as AFK)

• Making planks with the power of your mind (The irony is astounding, you have to be a plank to use it, though a certain German physicist was quite good at it)

• Healing powers than do not involve a loud choir, making people speak in tounges or taking a seizure. (although you might get some baww if they were using Dharok's, which makes for good griefing)

• Vengeance, perfect for reflecting that 780 with the Ags spec right back into someones face. Actually genuinely useful, until you realise all you reflect are those near-miss 20s...

3. Regular Spellbook

Has about as much appeal as a TV Dinner.

Has the basic, strike, bolt, blast, wave and surge (and possably the entire mexican hat dance if your lucky)

God Spells, cost about 300k each to unlock, hit about 200 max unless you use CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!

Alchemy spells, good for getting 61k back from your Verac's helm, also has "Bones to Bananas" to keep the monkeys happy, which explains why its required so often.

Enchant spells, unless your trying to win a free ticket to BanTown by dupilcating D Bolts, these spells are useless. Just buy that amulet of strength normally.

Teleport spells make it easy to get around, although the locations are very limited, as trying to screw with the Abyssial Matrix will only cause a black hole. (according to a recent interview with a mage who looks like the Emperor from Star Wars) Teleport spells have also know to glitch up in your face and leave you stuck 6 miles in a void. (or quite literally make a monkey out of you if you do it inside your POH)

Teleother spells, good for breaking autoers (and the sanity of people trying to "make X" a skill)

Uses

By now you may be wondering "since this skill sucks so much, why the hell do we have it in the first place?!" Well, even though Magic suffers because of a flaw in pvp(meleers wearing karils,) and is usually far too expensive to use in most pvm situations, Magic does have some things that Melee and Ranged don't have(because whining pkers probably haven't found out about this yet.)

The thing that stands out the most with Magic is its PRETTY COLOURS. While meleers and rangers get higher max hits and much better weapons as they level up, mages gain the ability to change the colour of their battle spells at will! What's more is that your mystic robes and infinity robes have the power of the PRETTY COLOURS as well, meaning that your character can look stunningly beautiful while your enemy rips you to shreds with their borrowed pair of dragon claws. At 99 Magic, while wearing your skillcape, you gain access to a spell called PRETTY COLOUR CATASTROPHE which summons the wrath of all the PRETTY COLOURS to obliterate your foes with this artistic disaster. Sadly, the power of the PRETTY COLOURS only really works on runefappers and possibly Jagex apologists.

Magic also has uses outside of combat which include:

• The alchemy spells. Once upon a time there was a group of woodcutters, they were chopping down trees and making them into bows. One day, they decided to sell their bows but everybody already had one. The head woodcutter thought to himself "We have all these bows and nothing to do with them, I guess we'll just drop them." The other woodcutters thought that this made the Woodcutting skill pretty pointless and wondered why they were cutting yews and magic trees when they could get even faster exp by chopping down teaks, walls or willows. This went on for weeks until finally, Prunescape was flooded with bows and nobody could move or do anything. The end.
• Teleportation. What? You mean all this time you had to walk to get to where you wanted to go?! Wow, it must really suck to be you!
• Enchanting. Well... Let's just say that without Magic, the crafting skill would be pretty ****ed up ("Ooh! Lookit me! I just paid lotsa money for this diamond ring that does nothing and no1 can see!") and melee pkers would whine because no amulet of glory/amulet of fury means THEIR MAX HIT IS A LITTLE LOWER("Fix it nao Jarbage! It's da appocalypse!!!!) This would also affect Rangers because enchanted bolts contain most of their good special attacks. So basically, mages are gracious enough to help meleers and rangers own them in pvp.
• Some other crap that I'm too lazy to write down