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Evil Dave's Basement of Funnies is a place you went and forgot the existence of. It plays a role in the Recipe for Disaster quest, in which you have to create an 'evil' stew. (Has nothing to do with polonium.) This is done by collecting spices and then putting them in a stew, before giving it to Dave to see if its 'evil' enough. If it is, then you're done. If not, smash the clay bowl over his criminal mastermind wannabe head and start again. However, if I word this correctly, I can make it seem far more complicated than it actually is, at that point I'll apply for a job at the RuneScape Wiki, writing quest guides.

So, how are you supposed to get these spices? You have to kill rats. Not just any old rat though, it has to be from a hellrat, and luckily for you theres a ton of them in Evil Dave's basement of funnies. Apparently hellrats are the lowest form of demon, which is kind of shit when you're trying to be a criminal mastermind like Dave is.

(Wait, hang on, Dave? As in David Cameron? Or Evil Dave from RuneScape? And we've mentioned George Osborne too? Is there any difference between both Daves? Am I confusing myself?)

(Get on with it. - Paddy)

Anyway, so you have to kill hellrats. But not just splat them all over the walls with your Saradomin Sword. You need a cat to hunt the rats. So you hunt the rats, and you obtain spices from the rats...

(Hang on...are we talking about rats or hellrats? Because normal rats are everywhere but those don't give spices when killed. Or was I using rats as a shortened term for hellrats? Or was I just being inconsistent?)

(GET ON WITH IT. - Paddy)

So you obtain spices from the hellrats, and you put them in a stew. Trial and error later and you can finish the Evil Dave part of Recipe for Disaster. However you can come back though, either to use it to increase the rat-count that your now-hellcat (a cat that hunts hellrats becomes a hell-cat. Fancy that.) or to get some spicy stews for your own uses. There are four colours of spice - yellow, orange, red and brown. They do different things - which are as follows...

  • Yellow - fuck all
  • Orange - fuck all
  • Red - fuck all
  • Brown - Can increase your Herblore, by up to 6 levels, especially useful when you're trying to cheapen your way to getting extreme potions. Although 95% of the time it'll just cut your Herblore level instead or not boost it by enough. Also when we say 'up to 6' we really mean 'up to 5' because 6 just doesn't happen. It just doesn't. Well, really, theres a 1.6% chance, or was it 3% chance? Well either way its really rare so you shouldn't count on it, although you never know, you may get lucky...

(Fuck sake. You're fired. - Paddy)

DavesEVILspice

Sometimes the stew can be make "too evil"

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