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Dungeoneering 1.5

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On the surface, this appeared to be a very good all-around update... Until you dig a little deeper. Let's go through all the aspects and see how they demonstrate how little the people who worked on them play their own game, shall we?


Resource DungeonsEdit

First off, let's just get this one bit of Jagex math out of the way. They said there would be "Over 15" of them in the BTS for this month, and guess what? There are 14.

These have a pretty pitiful finding bonus, and the only reason anyone trains dungeoneering is absent, you get no tokens with your xp.

They added a new monster, Frost Dragons, with a 100% drop of bones worth 20k. Guess what will be camped to extinction in every world?

They added more spawns of several monsters that didn't need them also, like hellhounds and black demons/dragons.

The only halfway useful ones are the Al Kharid dungeon which provides 1/minute impling spawns (Overcrowded much?) and the Iron/steel dragon one with an anvil nearby so you can actually use those bar drops.

Construction HotspotsEdit

These start out with a group gatestone portal in them, and if you want something different you have to remove it, which means a huge unnecessary pain in the ass.

The materials needed to build the only truly useful Construction item (the altar) are prohibitively expensive, costing about 100k. The other rewards (farming patch and range) are unnecessary as they spawn regularly around whereas the altar does not.

Also, you can build a skillcape stand so all your friends can runefap over your fantastic achievement! This is more of a hinderance than anything else because it replaces your group portal...

Class RingsEdit

At first glance, these are pretty awesome, +10% to your strength for 135 tokens? Fuck yeah!

Then you realize that the next tier is only +1% more, for more tokens.

And the next tier is the same... and so on.

Until you get to tier 10, and it is 233000 tokens... for that last +1%. No completion bonus, nothing.

The other 2 melee classes are equally disappointing. The attack-based one requires that you use the Accurate attack style, which the most common weapon does not have. The Defense one requires that you wear a shield, which the most popular weapons don't allow you to do.

The other combat styles suffer from the same "diminishing returns" effect, plus they forgot to test one of the magic styles to make sure it worked.

Thumbs up, guys! Way to prove how much you understand the game!

New TitlesEdit

Who gives a fuck, really? Let's try to play less efficiently so that we get a few words to show up on the end screen! Yay! I can die in peace now!

Solo log-outsEdit

You can now log out for up to 10 minutes in a solo dungeon and be returned to the dungeon. That's not even long enough to take a decent dump. Definitely not long enough to investigate those very interesting pictures of Commander Zilyana that you found.


I got sleepy reading the rest, so you're outta luck.

So as usual, Runescape's 12-year-old fanbase spotted the obvious flaws with this update within minutes of the release, and they were apparently too much trouble for the professional developers who go out of their way to claim that they play and understand the game perfectly well to spot or fix.


God damnit these guys piss me off sometimes.

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