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Dovahkiin (dragonborn)

WE MUST RE-FUCK THE BOSSES!!!!

Dominion Tower is a shithole sand-covered laggy tower in the desert. It is where Jagex lets you re-fuck all the bosses that you have fought in your miserable life. Slaughtering these fucks for the second time gives you great rewards. This is a new update and laggy as a shit. Now just running near the tower will cause your screen to go all "flash black on and off" on you.

RequirementsEdit

Jagex has tried to make the tower sound fun for noobs but when you actually meet the requirements and try it, you get super phyhco rage because it is shit and now you have no life. This is all the shit you need to do:

  • Level 160 combat. This means absolutly no life whatsover. By now you probably think WoW and that Minecraft shit is more enjoyable to play.
  • You must complete 20 or more of some gay quests Jagex has specifically chosen for you. These quests involve:
  1. Messing with some transexual idiots and some digusting slime things.
  2. Pissing off Bandos the prick and all the other gods.
  3. Beating a shitty nooby demon who was defeated by a hero with a fucked up name years ago.
  4. Finding some barstards' family shit.
  5. Joining a man-club of wanna-be vampires to defeat a shit with wings.
  6. Venturing into some temple with a rapist who goes on about Zaros.
  7. Interfering with some stupid trolls' sex life.
  8. Hunting down a criminal who is a nooby level but knows Ancient Magicks. HAXXX REPORTED!!!!111
  9. Listening to some monkey shits about being deaf, dumb and blind.
  10. Going through all this shit just to fight a nooby dragon that lags like a shit.
  11. Fighting some stupid teenager mahjarrat.
  12. Going to some bullshit fisherman dimension via some gay whistle.
  13. Finding the land of the homosexuals.
  14. Getting anal raped by monkeys.
  15. Fighting a low-graphical dragon-thing who changes colour.
  16. Doing the longest fucking quest in prunescape just to kill some bullshit cook with piece of shit rip-offs of monsters.
  17. Killing a "terrible" vampire who is just a sad loner.
  18. Killing a shirtless rapist, an ice fuck who drains, a fire dipshit who is a ghost and a piece of shit vampire white person thing.
  19. Becoming a full, pledged rapist with a pedophile name as well.
  20. Getting fucked up the arse by Uncle Foster so hard that you somehow shit out your mouth and ears.
  21. Some other shit that I can't be bothered to type. I mean, does anyone even read this shitty website anymore?

Actually doing itEdit

The aim is to get to the top of the tower while getting swarmed by annoying shits who Jagex doen't explain as to how the fuck they are alive. Thats actually about it.

RewardsEdit

The rewards are shit. The best thing is the dreadnip which is like summoning but somehow not. Other than that you can only get some shitty weapons that degrade after dealing 6 FUCKING HITS!!!!

Trivia and other shitEdit

  • On the day of release, there was an unholy shitload of rioters at the tower claiming that it was the "worst update eva!!111" They are obviously wrong as the worst update ever was when Fagex was first founded.
  • You can fight the little shit known as the evil chicken in the tower. For those who don't know, the little prick used to be a random event and is an extremely poor attempt at Fagex trying to be funny.
  • I hate this tower more than One Erection.


Important Notice:

Does anyone ever read this shit? I found this website via google images and it looks like no-one has edited it but me for months!

If you are reading this "YOU ARE ADOPTED AND I DON'T LIKE YOU"

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