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Decision Time - What do Jagex want?

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Decided to write another opinion column. Might as well.


With Jagex announcing yet another PvP war for their strange but pointless Triumvirate lark, it makes you wonder just exactly what type of player Jagex are supporting. On one hand, they're keeping the low levels paying and staying with countless short-lived and infantile updates, but on the other hand they're wanting them to step into a PvP world for some inconsequential bullshit and lose absolutely fucking everything as a result. And then spam the forums with 'Reavers, unite!' like some disturbing political rally.

The Triumvirate, while pointless and underwhelming, is actually a very clever invention by Jagex indeed. They can now fill up space on the site headlines by announcing random things to do with it, and don't have to develop any new content at all. Its little more than a cleverly hidden items sink, because there are many maxed out people who have a ton of wealth to spare, and there are many level 90s and 100s who don't. Countless amounts of each player type will lose their hard earned inconsequential pixels, and an organised clan would have a field day if not for the gargantuan amount of server lag which results in a frame rate comparable to a copy of The Great Gatsby. In an mindless yet frantic mashup with what will no doubt contain hundreds of players, all of which with the individuality and brainpower inferior to your average sheep, being unable to do anything except scream at your straining, overworked computer while your character dies is inevitable.

What does it matter if you win, anyway? How do you win, in fact? Its similar to the first one, where you had to 'defend' a certain location from 'the other side'. A few obvious rhetorical questions cropped up by those more cynical, including "How do I defend it" "What am I defending it from" and "What happens if I don't defend it". Hilariously, these answers don't exist. Meanwhile, as you try to answer them for yourself, you get mullered by a bunch of people 10 levels higher than you, and all this happens for no reason whatsoever. Well, you'll lose your items so you'll have to play more, which means more money, which means...Jagex DO know what they're doing. Problem is, that most of the more individual and learned people would condemn this as a shameless way to make more money, but those people are routinely ignored like a bunch of 16 year old girls banging on about the umpteenth latest lukewarm romantic comedy named after a kitchen appliance.

If people are to take one word Jagex take as anything other than incessant babbling, they'll discover that 'winning' the Triumvirate PvP war will give you Triumvirate points, which do...absolutely nothing.

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