Dark Beast

One of Real Life's many famous and influential Dark Beasts


Dark Beasts are horny bastards which require 90 Slayer to kill. Even though dark beasts have a higher Slayer requirement and are harder to kill, the abysmal windex bottles have better drops than them.

Fighting Dark BeastsEdit

These horny black bastards can be found in 2 locations:

  • The tunnels on the way to the temple of light (only requires you to start MEpt2, does not require completion of the quest (thank god!))
  • Kuradal's Slayer Tunnels (can only be accessed if Kuradal assigns you them as a task, that greedy bitch...)

Dark Beasts are very easily aroused and will strike at you with their firm phallic symbols as soon as they see you. Dark Beasts can also attack with Pr3tTy C0lol_lrz but will generally only do so if you try fighting them from a distance (safespotting with ranged weapons.) The general strategy when fighting them is to wear Prayer boosting equipment and use the "protect from unwanted bestiality" prayer, (as well as turmoil if you have it.) You could also safespot them and use "protect from poorly spelled pretty colours."

Though their drops are mediocre, Dark Beasts are still decent tasks and will give you good combat and slayer experience. Be warned though, if you're a slayer and you don't spend enough time outside, you will become a Dark Beast yourself.

No, walking the streets of Varrock does not count as being outside. Now quit pestering me, HISSSSS!!!

Worthwhile DropsEdit

Why should I tell you this when, as a dark beast myself, I have more important things to do like staring at porn? Oh fine whatever, I won't leave you in the dark:

Weapons and Armour

  • Dark Bow (The most retarded slayer monster drop in the game. Whaddaya mean the word 'retarded' is offensive?! They released the monster first in 2005 and then realized it had no rare drop and added the Dark Bow more than a year later.)
  • Dragon Spear
  • Prune Spear (That damn stalker...)
  • Prune Battleaxe
  • Prune 2h Sword
  • Dragon Dagger (doesn't that shop in Zanaris make having these as a drop redundant?)
  • 42 or 150 Rune Arrows (hmmmm... 42 and 150, both very important numbers.)
  • Prune Chainbody Chained Doggy
  • Prune Full Helm
  • Prune KiteFrisbeeshield
  • Prune Square Shield Dog Food
  • Dragon Med Helm Dragon Meat Heaven



  • 1-2 Grimy Ranarrs
  • 1-2 Grimy Avantoes
  • 1-2 Grimy Lantadymes
  • 1-2 Grimy Kwuarms
  • 1-2 Grimy Dwarf Weeds

Other Drops

  • Solarpowered Electric Guitars
  • 50 gallons of grape drank (grape drank = water + sugar + purple)
  • The remains of various Hip-Hop artists (in other words, uncut gems.)
  • halves of a key (the key opens the front door of a doghouse.)
  • Court Summons
  • Ferocious Ring (nowhere near as ferocious as the beast itself.)
  • Prune Bar
  • 100 666 noted silver ore (666 is the number of the beast.)
  • Starved Ancient Effigy
  • Shield Left Half

There are also Revenant Dark Beasts but nobody likes them.

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