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Ocean
Wilderness Agility Course Chaos Elemental Ocean
Corporeal Beast


Chaos elemental

Your sanity has flavour! OM NOM NOM

The Chaos Elemental is the result of the fusion of:

  • A butt.
  • Purple paint.
  • Exposure to Sonic fan fiction.

It spends its entire time floating around in the Wilderness, pissing around until someone comes along to play 'How Much Can A Purple Butt Piss Me Off Before I Break My Keyboard And Ragequit?' with it. It attacks only with magic, but it is the most annoying magic since Sergeant Steelwill's in General Graardor's chamber of drunken follies.

It recently got a makeover to hype players for the Wilderness and Free Trade, and was given the possibility of dropping PvP armor to lure PvMer's to get killed by PKers. Now, it resembles a Dark Cyclops Abyssal Demon Butt Ankou, instead of a purple butt with tentacles.


The Chaos Elemental has three attacks, a standard one that goes WOOOOKAAAAOOOOO and hits up to 280, one that strips you off[1] (rule 34 anyone?) and one that literally throws you away, although Jargoners would call it 'teleothering'.

Killing it is a waste of time. The best thing you'll get is a Dragon 2h sword, and thats the most shit weapon since someone made a weapon completely out of shit[2].

Postbag from the Bloody HedgeEdit

The Chaos Elemental is often written to in the 'Postbag from the Hedge', a sort of a player-to-fictional character pen-pal thing which has always been on the verge of being shut down due to the majority of this 'post' being 12 year old boys wanting to know Commander Zilyana's bra size. Most of the time, when written to the Chaos Elemental will respond in total incomprehensible garble, which is not a different response to what the public normally get when they ask David Cameron a question on what he will do when he eventually wins the election.

Apparently, some players also have a fetish for the Giant-Abyssal-Demon-Cyclops-Ankou-Butt, so one of them decied to write a love letter to her:

"Dear Chaos Elemental

In the wilderness of Gielinor, Lived a beauty by the name of Ele, Her tentacles wisp and hasteful, Her eyes seering and graceful.

Exquisitely she would waft, Down the aisles of four and nine, Slaying all those who dared cross path, Not even a revenant could withstand.

Ele spoke in tongue twisters, Even Reldo shan't understand, Scrying the content of the future she would do, That even Mod Mark could not do.

O Chaos Elemental, Mel-ona the Scale, I ask to you, Will you be my Valentine?

From your loving companion, Moe Is 4210 "

Once again, this reinforces the fact that Runefappers have nothing that they won't fap to. Words fail to describe just how sick, sad, and lonely you have to be to send love letters to a fricking Butt.

The big question everyone asks about the Chaos ElementalEdit

WHY IS THERE A PURPLE Butt IN THE WILDERNESS?

ReferencesEdit

  1. Rule 34, anyone?
  2. See Zamorak Spear for more information.

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