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Behind The Scenes - January 2011

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Its a new year, and Jagex seem to want to try and get it starting with a bang...well, according to them anyway. They present the Behind the Scenes - January 2011, in which the Frozen door at God Wars Dungeon finally stops sitting on its arse, the short bearded people have another quest in their unremarkable storyline, and Jagex devalue everyone's achievements again.

King of the DwarvesEdit

In this new dwarf quest, Chaos Dwarves have decided to go a bit mental for no apparent reason, while the Red Axe attempt to get into power. You will also have to discover the King of the Dwarves, which might be hard as they all look the same. Copied directly from the BTS, players will...

"rescue some trapped miners, involve themselves in dwarven politics and then pick up some big rocks"

And if we're REALLY lucky, Jagex will let us dust a vase.

God Wars Dungeon ExpansionEdit

After disregarding the no one gives a shit lore, you'll eventually manage to find the useful information regarding the update.

  • The first boss monster (outside of Deamonheim) to arrive on RuneScape for over 2 years. Jagex try their hardest to make it seem difficult, challenging and creative, but remember, if you and some reliable friends can take down the Corporeal Beast, you won't find anything more difficult here. Jagex ARE afraid of progress, after all.
  • A bow that doesn't need ammo. Either its a variation on the Crystal Bow, or has some absurd catch to it. Also doubles up as a way to take the piss out of people who spent 200k tokens on a Chaotic Crossbow.
  • And some pointless cosmetic shit.

The main selling point of this new boss is the ability to drop Torva armour, after the idiots editing the Knowledge Base managed to mention it months before its release. This armour will boost your maximum HP, although knowing Jagex it won't be by enough to make much difference. Its not just for meleers either, all combat types get armour of this type. However, this and the new bow will most likely be tradable, so don't expect to be able to buy any in the Grand Exchange for...well...forever.

The Hati WolfEdit

Fremmenik related stuff that no one gives a shit about. Jagex describe it as a variation on the Bonus XP Weekend. It can fuck off.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So thats how Jagex plan to start 2011 off with. A shit dwarven quest, an underwhelming boss with glorified merch trash drops and a pointless free-XP fest. Expect the A Whole Year of Awful Updates (2011) article to have an even higher number of Shame Sections than 2010.

All three updates were shit.

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